smokingboot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smokingboot) wrote2012-05-27 09:12 am
smokingboot) wrote2012-05-27 09:12 am
Summer gifts
...She didn't want me to cut my hair. 'It's like de-sexing yourself,' She said gently.
'This little bob of yours is so chic and cute, why would you want to get rid of it?'
Because I was sick of that old permed, over-coloured mess on my head, I told her, because I wanted something new. Other excellent chum chimed in. 'To some extent she's right,' came the addition. 'There's a connection between cut hair and castration...' which might make sense if I a) had testicles and b) wore them round my ears.
The truth is I haven't felt pretty or girlish in ages. Don't get me wrong, there's no lack of vanity in my nature; my ego is plenty healthy. But I don't really want to be seen, not because of some belief that I'm hideous, just because...dunno. There is no real because. I haven't gone for any auditions, I don't want to, plain and simple. I haven't even filled out my measurements form for my agent. I can't explain it.
I have really enjoyed TV work, 6 years of playtime! But right now, it's not the end of the world emotionally if I don't do it. Writing is more important, exploring matters more.
I told her all about it, how I just didn't feel pretty; I want to like my face, my body. I told her of my desire to have a shoot sometime, to make me feel sexy and special. Excellent friend, dismayed at my lack of characteristic narcissism, has very kindly given me a voucher for a make-over photoshoot this afternoon. I have to pick out glamourous clothes. It is at this point I realise I have no glamourous clothes, or at least, none remarkable enough to warrant a photoshoot. I could try lingerie I guess, I have some beautiful corsets.
When I think of clothes and shoes, it feels like so much effort. But after all, this is play, and I've always been good at play. So I mustn't turn it into work and hassle.
Time to play.
'This little bob of yours is so chic and cute, why would you want to get rid of it?'
Because I was sick of that old permed, over-coloured mess on my head, I told her, because I wanted something new. Other excellent chum chimed in. 'To some extent she's right,' came the addition. 'There's a connection between cut hair and castration...' which might make sense if I a) had testicles and b) wore them round my ears.
The truth is I haven't felt pretty or girlish in ages. Don't get me wrong, there's no lack of vanity in my nature; my ego is plenty healthy. But I don't really want to be seen, not because of some belief that I'm hideous, just because...dunno. There is no real because. I haven't gone for any auditions, I don't want to, plain and simple. I haven't even filled out my measurements form for my agent. I can't explain it.
I have really enjoyed TV work, 6 years of playtime! But right now, it's not the end of the world emotionally if I don't do it. Writing is more important, exploring matters more.
I told her all about it, how I just didn't feel pretty; I want to like my face, my body. I told her of my desire to have a shoot sometime, to make me feel sexy and special. Excellent friend, dismayed at my lack of characteristic narcissism, has very kindly given me a voucher for a make-over photoshoot this afternoon. I have to pick out glamourous clothes. It is at this point I realise I have no glamourous clothes, or at least, none remarkable enough to warrant a photoshoot. I could try lingerie I guess, I have some beautiful corsets.
When I think of clothes and shoes, it feels like so much effort. But after all, this is play, and I've always been good at play. So I mustn't turn it into work and hassle.
Time to play.
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You have some beautiful dresses. There were photos, as i recall. The green one?
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Venerable=vintage=sexy...
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Some days it is time to wear steel and the blood of fallen enemies.
Other days it is time to wear warm woolen socks.
The socks define the rest of the outfit, and extend also to the mug of hot chocolate and the purring of the contented cat.
Outwardly, Things Change.
Inwardly, I have but to close my eyes consider to let images of your face, your body, drift into exquisite focus.
Past, Present, Future, in all of these you are beautiful.
I love this
Re: I love this
(x)
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Debbie - if I wrote your post, you'd probably be first in line to tell me that there's more to being a woman than being pretty/sexy/glamorous/playful. You are a woman of substance - embrace that strength.
xx
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The photos were interesting. Some I find beautiful, but curiously older than I feel...an elegant wistful lady, but not me at all:-D
"A Woman of Substance"" From my strong friend who also retains her playfulness and beauty, that's the sort of compliment that makes me strut around like a kid! Thank you xx
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Substance is pretty damn sexy...
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You are all the pretty and could probably wear a bin bag and make it look good!
Chuck stuff into a nice big bag, go to your photoshoot and play!
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Oh, I laughed!
I took clippers to my head a year ago, it was like cold champagne on a hot day, giggly and freeing and hedonistic and devil-may-care and wonderful. and while I go to a salon now, they do something remarkably similar. I love the breeze on my neck. I love earrings. I love playing with short-hair-and-floaty-clothing. I love taking less than a minute to dry and style it. I love it. I love how people didn't know how to react to it. It was like announcing a pregnancy to the terribly awkward: "Was that... planned?" or the mistakenly tactful: "How do you, erm, feel about it?" - disapproval, horror, stoking my glee. I'm female, I'm even feminine sometimes. But the fact that I'm a woman is to do with my vulva and not my hair.
Idiots.
Also, for your amusement, I mis-read "I told her of my desire to have a shoot sometime, to make me feel sexy and special." as "my desire to shoot someone, to make me feel sexy and special" which was quite something to read on a Friday afternoon.
I hope you have a fun weekend!
"my desire to shoot someone, to make me feel sexy and special"
There is something so sexy and alluring about feeling the wind on the nape of one's neck, and yes, it does feel freeing! Earings, dunno, I haven't quite found the right ones. My idea was to go a bit Edie Sedgewick, but let's just say there's a bit too much of me and it's been around too long for that to work;-) Short hair and floaty dresses, so, so feminine! But most of my wardrobe doesn't suit this haircut at all, so there's a real need to buy new clothes... shopping again! Who'd have thought transformation was so gruelling?
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