ext_321090 ([identity profile] november-girl.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] smokingboot 2005-06-15 08:18 pm (UTC)

Contrary to what I may have said on Saturday night when I didn't have the rest of the paragraph, I actually prefer the second. I like the way it repeats itself with the "it began with..." statement.

However, bearing in mind comments others have made, I would add this caveat: prose would need to be very cluttered for me to notice, as most of my reading on a day-to-day basis is statute law and terms and conditions of contracts with sentences of about 60 words!

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