smokingboot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smokingboot) wrote2020-07-20 05:21 am
smokingboot) wrote2020-07-20 05:21 am
What Friends Recommend
Friday was our first night out in socially distanced Edinburgh, a late celebration of my birthday at Dishooms in St Andrews Square. Handwash as we went in, tables well spaced apart, waiters wearing masks...And then great food and cocktails. Awesome night, just to hear other people talking and laughing, to be in a different place! There are folk on the streets, but Edinburgh's still strangely empty.
We came back, lit the chimenea, drank prosecco in the garden til late... And then did nothing very much all Saturday.
Sunday was fun and frustrations; some mates recommended Plymouth Point, (https://swampmotel.co.uk/plymouth-point/) so we played it with a couple of other chums and it was excellent. Unfortunately, one of our mates' laptop played up which didn't help the experience, but ultimately success was ours! We were the Mystery Machine! I want more!
And then there was The Old Guard. Friends have been raving about this film, and as a Charlize Theron fan, I had high hopes.
God.
Sub-par Highlander with added box ticking. These are not characters but identification points for people to pour themselves into or empathise with.
The leader's an immortal greco-something warrior; the kind of person who promises you answers and gives none. These are warriors who do the right thing. Except she's sick of doing the right thing because it changes nothing and after thousands of years she would rather stare into the fire and tell her team not to bother. It might be sound advice but would make for a pretty boring eternity, which is just what this film feels like. But we are supposed to be interested because...?
Well, it's a female warrior lead innit? It's a woman and she can fight so yaayyy wow. I like tough scifi heroines, grew up with Sarah Connor, Ripley, Ivanova, Furiosa come to that, if we want to get recent. Strong female characters can obviously rock a story, and taciturn characters can be very charismatic. But the misery of Andi/Athene whoever-the-hell-she-is conquers even CT's powers of cool. Incredibly, she's dull.
Other eternal warriors include:
White Cis Het Guy: Discovered his immortality in the Napoleonic wars. The youngest (up til now!) of the bunch, he's basically the teenager in this group which means he is the one who can actually use a computer. That's it. This am what he do.
Gay Crusaders: This could have been great, the love between two of opposing faiths and aims, doughty warriors finding eternal love and passionately committing to it. OK, so what are they like? Couldn't tell you. They are good guys in love. They are gay. They are good. Good Gay. Gay Good. Somebody bloody do something, oh look, now they need rescuing. In a sublimely unaware moment of tone-doofness, the script lamps them with Princess Syndrome. Jaysus.
Black Newbie Heroine; we let her off being a blank slate, because she is our eyes on the new existence, and we learn as she learns. Most likely she will coax the team into rescuing Mate-Under-Sea, because in 400 years the mighty undying soldier who leads them has not been able to visit the dock from which her buddy was thrown and just swim down and find her.
I can't be sure that this is what happens; an hour in we gave up. And I am not an easy viewer to dissuade; I can be entertained by watching birds feed.
Still, I've entertained myself venting about it, so that's something.
We came back, lit the chimenea, drank prosecco in the garden til late... And then did nothing very much all Saturday.
Sunday was fun and frustrations; some mates recommended Plymouth Point, (https://swampmotel.co.uk/plymouth-point/) so we played it with a couple of other chums and it was excellent. Unfortunately, one of our mates' laptop played up which didn't help the experience, but ultimately success was ours! We were the Mystery Machine! I want more!
And then there was The Old Guard. Friends have been raving about this film, and as a Charlize Theron fan, I had high hopes.
God.
Sub-par Highlander with added box ticking. These are not characters but identification points for people to pour themselves into or empathise with.
The leader's an immortal greco-something warrior; the kind of person who promises you answers and gives none. These are warriors who do the right thing. Except she's sick of doing the right thing because it changes nothing and after thousands of years she would rather stare into the fire and tell her team not to bother. It might be sound advice but would make for a pretty boring eternity, which is just what this film feels like. But we are supposed to be interested because...?
Well, it's a female warrior lead innit? It's a woman and she can fight so yaayyy wow. I like tough scifi heroines, grew up with Sarah Connor, Ripley, Ivanova, Furiosa come to that, if we want to get recent. Strong female characters can obviously rock a story, and taciturn characters can be very charismatic. But the misery of Andi/Athene whoever-the-hell-she-is conquers even CT's powers of cool. Incredibly, she's dull.
Other eternal warriors include:
White Cis Het Guy: Discovered his immortality in the Napoleonic wars. The youngest (up til now!) of the bunch, he's basically the teenager in this group which means he is the one who can actually use a computer. That's it. This am what he do.
Gay Crusaders: This could have been great, the love between two of opposing faiths and aims, doughty warriors finding eternal love and passionately committing to it. OK, so what are they like? Couldn't tell you. They are good guys in love. They are gay. They are good. Good Gay. Gay Good. Somebody bloody do something, oh look, now they need rescuing. In a sublimely unaware moment of tone-doofness, the script lamps them with Princess Syndrome. Jaysus.
Black Newbie Heroine; we let her off being a blank slate, because she is our eyes on the new existence, and we learn as she learns. Most likely she will coax the team into rescuing Mate-Under-Sea, because in 400 years the mighty undying soldier who leads them has not been able to visit the dock from which her buddy was thrown and just swim down and find her.
I can't be sure that this is what happens; an hour in we gave up. And I am not an easy viewer to dissuade; I can be entertained by watching birds feed.
Still, I've entertained myself venting about it, so that's something.