Dream

Fitful sleep interrupted twice by cat wanting breakfast. Dreams of lists of responsibilities, jobs to be done etc followed. I have been neglectful for sure. Everything seems hard work, not heavy, just effort my body doesn't want to make. Also in my dreams, an old foe; we were amicable and she was talking to me about the guy she was with, a millionaire or something. She was happy and I was happy for her. We spoke in a strange house that I thought I recognised. Its decoration was terrible, and yet familiar, but when I mentioned the latter, two people I didn't know said they had decorated it when they bought it, years after I had been there. There was an unpleasant but very pretty once-upon-a-time school acquaintance, grown into old age, neither so appalling nor so appealing, hair dangling in long witchy locks. There was a shower curtain in front of a mirror, and on it was imprinted the shape of a young woman. I knew it was me. I stood in front of it and moved away, stood around, moved away . The imprint stayed, the sense of something very unhappy around it lessened. It had been real, but was just a memory.

I am dealing with so much family memory stuff now, that's not a surprising response from my subconscious; and of course, Salem research means wandering deep into the realm of vulnerable young women and witch fantasies. But in the dream, the foe is happy and wants us to be at peace, the house is badly decorated long after my association with it, the old school bully is harmless, the shower curtain can't be changed but isn't actually haunting. It's just there.

And here I am, awake.

There is a lot I should be doing, but my chest feels painful. Should I take another test? Don't know, I will think about that later.