Pointless Perfume Review: Xerjoff Alexandria II

Luca Turin had plenty to say about this:

"Xerjoff is an Italian firm, situated along the bullshit continuum somewhere between Creed and Roja Dove, but with less access to perfumery talent than the former and less retro heft than the latter. When Italians do cynical, they do it properly. The website video of founder Sergio Momo expatiating about eternal beauty, in various locations rented for the day, is a gem. The perfumes are mostly vile and cheap-smelling, the packaging design eye-wateringly vulgar, the prices stellar. This one retails for £495 at Harrods. It is a dismal fruity thing slashed across the face by a repellent woody amber."

Why won't this guy stop pussyfooting around, and just say what he thinks?

I loved Alexandria II when I first tried it. Truly.

But something strange happens after these samples are opened. Russian Musk II was just a gorgeous musk. Now it's absolutely addictive. Alexandria II had a kind of parchment like/incense tone hidden in the top notes. Now it's just quite nice. I don't think it's faded but perhaps I have. Also, today I had to go out into the cold and rainy city, so the perfume didn't have the chance to bloom in condusive warmth. On me this is for autumns and evenings, the kind of scent that suits business meetings, suits, the opera, formality, ladies and gentlemen alike. It lasts, it doesn't smother, it doesn't go through strange chemical changes on the skin, it doesn't shriek to be noticed (but it will be noticed) it is less stink than distinct. Very classy. But after some of these others, it pales. So long Alexandria!

https://seescents.com/products/xerjoff-alexandria-ii-50ml?variant=39533440368777¤cy=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&utm_campaign=gs-2020-06-21&utm_source=google&utm_medium=smart_campaign&gclid=Cj0KCQiAw9qOBhC-ARIsAG-rdn61Zz1pAv0U0REPvfnsy2sfSukgYOVkn0wmO1pbkVvalnHR_GlIrWQaAjkUEALw_wcB

P.S. Put it on at 10.30 am, by 5pm subtle and lovely. A contender but it takes forever to get going!

P.P.S. I wonder if Luca Turin isn't actually a bit of a tit.

Pointless Perfume Review: Bortnikov Amber Cologne

Ah this is nice. This is a creamy orange popsicle type fragrance that almost hardens a bit, but just at the moment before turning into a boiled sweet, it melts down into a frangipani/jasmine/vanilla/sandalwood fragrance, not original but a classic done extremely well. Thing is, AB's exactly what it says, a cologne, and compared to others here it's not a stayer. I'd need to keep topping it up every three to four hours. But that's OK, who wants to reek of fading old perfume in the high summer?

Mmmm.

https://www.beautinow.nl/bortnikoff-amber-cologne-eau-de-parfum-50ml-1.html

Pointless Perfume Review: Tom Ford Noir Extreme

Tom Ford made one of the greatest perfumes of all time, Black Orchid. It's a perfume I always have, and only wear for dangerous liaisons and assignations. It's for night, it's for winter, it's for worldliness, it's for hedonism, it's a patchouli/chocolate treatment without the sweetness that turned Angel into the staple of porn stars.

But Tom Ford hasn't really captivated me since. This next tester is Noir Extreme, which R didn't realise is for men. I guessed almost instantly because of the old conventions that inhabit perfumery and even now make their way into gender identity: Male notes traditionally include leather and tobacco, female notes include lilies and roses. Bloody nonsense as it's all chemicals anyway. You want to wear Noir Extreme? Maybe that's the part of you that wants to drive cars and smoke cigars in the club, a part we shall call 'Man'. You want to wear Joy de Patou? Maybe that's a part of you craving a beautiful meadow and a lover walking towards you with a labrador puppy in their arms, a part we shall call 'Woman.' If this sounds like sexist stereotyping along the lines of buy-her-a-hoover-she'll-love-it that's cos it is, and yes, there's a lot of old wine to be found in very fancy 21st century bottles. Nowhere are these tropes more obvious than in perfumery. I love perfumery but am the first to agree that it's at least 50 percent BS, and of that BS, at least 50% is based on evocation and memory. And what forms one's memories? Is it not our emotional understanding, our categorising of experiences we go through and how we interpret them - or how society interprets them for us?

'Male' perfumes change less, The top notes seem to stay a lot longer. Maybe this is because in our society men are 'taught' or 'allowed' or something like that, to try something and walk away if they don't like it. Female-targeted perfumery has a lot more mystique around it; women are spun a lot of stuff about top notes; the idea is to wait a little and see if, when the top notes die down, we like what we smell. But no-one expects male customers to try then wait. The marketing prediction is that they will make a decision straight away, based on first impressions. The result is that their perfumes are less chimera-like. They may fade, but they do not change.

The defining scent in Noir Extreme is a strong but mellow tobacco note that turns up behind various spices and sandalwood. When I have previously found these in feminine perfumes, they are inevitably sweetened in some way. Didn't happen here. And it stayed this way, with a kind of vanilla amber note smoothing it out. I'd like to see how this smells on my husband.

I like Noir Extreme and I'll try it again to see if I grow into it. But tbh if I'm going to spend more money on Tom Ford, I might as well stick to the divine Black Orchid.

https://www.lookfantastic.com/tom-ford-noir-extreme-eau-de-parfum-50ml/12018668.html?affil=thggpsad&switchcurrency=GBP&shippingcountry=GB&thg_ppc_campaign=71700000088329921&adtype=&product_id=12018668&gclid=Cj0KCQiAw9qOBhC-ARIsAG-rdn75VwM3GrH4Wjsz1SGwBvALYDa7ynzuFWRyUQvBD8ZemR8AOmsEBLkaAr74EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.thefragranceshop.co.uk/tom-ford/black-orchid/eau-de-parfum-spray/p/31628?msclkid=960e9d6010fb121e0aeafcb70e5d93c7&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping%20%7C%20Smart%20%7C%20Burberry&utm_term=4581390086767403&utm_content=Shopping%20%7C%20Smart%20%7C%20Burberry

And of course

Happy Birthday Aunty XXX