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It's my father's birthday today. He would have been 80.
Sometimes I feel his presence nearby. It is a boon if I feel myself to be entering hostile territory, because I trust him to be fearless. I have written a little something on FB, and friends are wishing him a Heavenly Birthday. That is lovely, but might be a bit far from the earthly life of the man, still... really not the time to judge. Maybe there never will be such a time. I take down his bible, which he gave to our mother (I stare at his handwriting, so clear) and open the book at random. My eyes land upon Malachias 1;6 and for sure it is a coincidence;
'The son honoureth his father, and the servant his master; if then, I be a father, where is my honour? And if I be a master where is my fear?'
It's oddly appropriate and the opposite at the same time. Gentle children do not turn otherwise out of pure spleen. At least now, a little luck in study has brought me some understanding of the generational trauma he almost certainly carried, and perhaps did not have the tools to combat, same as Mum had issues too difficult to defeat. Out of such things we are made. And if we lead happy fulfilled lives, that's a great victory for any of us.
But there is no point thinking in these terms right now. Here he is, RAF Singapore 1967, at a happy time of his life and ours.
Happy Birthday Dad.
Sometimes I feel his presence nearby. It is a boon if I feel myself to be entering hostile territory, because I trust him to be fearless. I have written a little something on FB, and friends are wishing him a Heavenly Birthday. That is lovely, but might be a bit far from the earthly life of the man, still... really not the time to judge. Maybe there never will be such a time. I take down his bible, which he gave to our mother (I stare at his handwriting, so clear) and open the book at random. My eyes land upon Malachias 1;6 and for sure it is a coincidence;
'The son honoureth his father, and the servant his master; if then, I be a father, where is my honour? And if I be a master where is my fear?'
It's oddly appropriate and the opposite at the same time. Gentle children do not turn otherwise out of pure spleen. At least now, a little luck in study has brought me some understanding of the generational trauma he almost certainly carried, and perhaps did not have the tools to combat, same as Mum had issues too difficult to defeat. Out of such things we are made. And if we lead happy fulfilled lives, that's a great victory for any of us.
But there is no point thinking in these terms right now. Here he is, RAF Singapore 1967, at a happy time of his life and ours.
Happy Birthday Dad.
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