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Holy Banana.
Aug. 3rd, 2023 12:39 pmNot only is my mood terrible, I'm angry at myself for allowing my mood to get so terrible. I keep crying over that damned mammogram, because it hurt so much and because...
because I'm a big baby who wore her bra all night because she wanted something comforting around her chest. I couldn't even look down at myself. I just tried to dream my way into some perfect fantasy bamboo cotton which would soothe away bruises and pains. No, there are no actual bruises, or at least I don't think so, I still can't look at myself. I want a bath but even I can't sit there in the bubbles with my bra on. I'm just losing my mind.
And because my discipline is through the floor I have ignored my plans for a fish and salad lunch and instead eaten every Mars bar ice cream in the house. Can't work, can't write this, can't find a necessary pillow case, can't find the sale details, can't walk, can't breathe, why won't this work, call me back, don't call me back, don't give me trouble, oh wait, do give me trouble because today I am ready for your sorry a-, where's the, can't get the, why won't the Oh God!
Or as Aunty would say, 'Holy Banana!'
Cancelled the eye appointment intended to finish off the other eye appointment which I had to terminate through nausea, unable to bear another person handling my body this week, certainly not poking around my eyeballs. There I was, thinking the shamanic doodads would be such a shot of good feeling I would be able to bear the rest. We live and learn.
Softening myself out of this place, a nice photo from my wedding of good friends around me, remember excellent chums, sensitive, sensible, supportive. Remember, leave the shrieking heights of my head and come down into softness. It's not as though I need to be constructive today, even if that was within my power. Consider passivity that's entertaining. Consider TV.
The British Miracle Meat
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/gregg-wallace-the-british-miracle-meat
This is genius. It's a reworking of Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' which I had the pleasure of studying way back in the day, and it's extremely successful, cue controversy. I am delighted they give him credit at the end. Proper satire, magnificent.
Good Omens 2;
Well we're pootling along aren't we? Let's say it's a quasi-adorable series of sketches featuring two great actors playing two beloved characters down through the ages. The way to enjoy it is not to bemoan the filler but accept that the filler is the point.
The Witcher season 3; Hmm or rather https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ucZAkQmdN0
And speaking of filler, Henry, you may be bailing at the right time. After Arethusa this all gets a bit desperate, with a couple of painfully evident plot holes.
North and South
Marvellous. I love a good brooding hero, and this guy spends most of his time with such a wonderful scowl I would behave badly just to provoke it. Whenever you think he can reach peak glower, he sets the bar higher. There's much in his behaviour which we would now consider seriously creepy, but I admit, he has a warm if seldom seen smile and Sinead Cusack plays an absolute blinder as his mother. Here's a clip for those who love romance but will never get round to watching the whole thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ucZAkQmdN0
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
What, me, sit here eating ice cream and watching period dramas all afternoon? Oh yes. It's the best cure for soreboob I know. This production's astonishing for two reasons; the main protagonists have real skins like real people with pores,freckles etc. They're no less attractive for their lack of luminous billiard ball complexions. I am the first to admit that Tara Fitzgerald's hairstyle doesn't flatter and Toby Stephens' eyebrows knit so closely together I suspect him of lycanthropy, but these are nothing compared to the demon child Arthur Huntingdon. This little dude scares the bejasus out of me and it never gets better.
But here's what does get better. Two discoveries; one being that R is coming back tonight rather than tomorrow, and the rediscovery of a pillow case saving an entire duvet set from consignment to the bin. My body still hurts but it's improving all the time.
Shouldn't have had all that ice cream though.
because I'm a big baby who wore her bra all night because she wanted something comforting around her chest. I couldn't even look down at myself. I just tried to dream my way into some perfect fantasy bamboo cotton which would soothe away bruises and pains. No, there are no actual bruises, or at least I don't think so, I still can't look at myself. I want a bath but even I can't sit there in the bubbles with my bra on. I'm just losing my mind.
And because my discipline is through the floor I have ignored my plans for a fish and salad lunch and instead eaten every Mars bar ice cream in the house. Can't work, can't write this, can't find a necessary pillow case, can't find the sale details, can't walk, can't breathe, why won't this work, call me back, don't call me back, don't give me trouble, oh wait, do give me trouble because today I am ready for your sorry a-, where's the, can't get the, why won't the Oh God!
Or as Aunty would say, 'Holy Banana!'
Cancelled the eye appointment intended to finish off the other eye appointment which I had to terminate through nausea, unable to bear another person handling my body this week, certainly not poking around my eyeballs. There I was, thinking the shamanic doodads would be such a shot of good feeling I would be able to bear the rest. We live and learn.
Softening myself out of this place, a nice photo from my wedding of good friends around me, remember excellent chums, sensitive, sensible, supportive. Remember, leave the shrieking heights of my head and come down into softness. It's not as though I need to be constructive today, even if that was within my power. Consider passivity that's entertaining. Consider TV.
The British Miracle Meat
https://www.channel4.com/programmes/gregg-wallace-the-british-miracle-meat
This is genius. It's a reworking of Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal' which I had the pleasure of studying way back in the day, and it's extremely successful, cue controversy. I am delighted they give him credit at the end. Proper satire, magnificent.
Good Omens 2;
Well we're pootling along aren't we? Let's say it's a quasi-adorable series of sketches featuring two great actors playing two beloved characters down through the ages. The way to enjoy it is not to bemoan the filler but accept that the filler is the point.
The Witcher season 3; Hmm or rather https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ucZAkQmdN0
And speaking of filler, Henry, you may be bailing at the right time. After Arethusa this all gets a bit desperate, with a couple of painfully evident plot holes.
North and South
Marvellous. I love a good brooding hero, and this guy spends most of his time with such a wonderful scowl I would behave badly just to provoke it. Whenever you think he can reach peak glower, he sets the bar higher. There's much in his behaviour which we would now consider seriously creepy, but I admit, he has a warm if seldom seen smile and Sinead Cusack plays an absolute blinder as his mother. Here's a clip for those who love romance but will never get round to watching the whole thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ucZAkQmdN0
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
What, me, sit here eating ice cream and watching period dramas all afternoon? Oh yes. It's the best cure for soreboob I know. This production's astonishing for two reasons; the main protagonists have real skins like real people with pores,freckles etc. They're no less attractive for their lack of luminous billiard ball complexions. I am the first to admit that Tara Fitzgerald's hairstyle doesn't flatter and Toby Stephens' eyebrows knit so closely together I suspect him of lycanthropy, but these are nothing compared to the demon child Arthur Huntingdon. This little dude scares the bejasus out of me and it never gets better.
But here's what does get better. Two discoveries; one being that R is coming back tonight rather than tomorrow, and the rediscovery of a pillow case saving an entire duvet set from consignment to the bin. My body still hurts but it's improving all the time.
Shouldn't have had all that ice cream though.
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