Pie Makers

I could have said something about R suddenly being unable to chair the meeting. Brilliant friend was not available, I was the only one who could access the group email account and so I ended up doing this. I hated doing it the first time and I hated doing it last night.

It embarrasses me. I don't want to be thought of as bossy and funless, and because we have a limited amount of time, I do feel that I am jostling people along. I don't want to tell people what to do because without being actively terrible, I have no aptitude for it. Don't make me Captain Sensible, don't make me the time keeper. Each time I do it, I can feel myself developing a permanent paintbrush moustache barely concealing my hard pressed and ever thinning upper lip.


Me at the meeting.

But sensible I somehow achieve. Even when some genius makes evident their complete lack of awareness of our material with 'Why don't we -? After all it's really important...' It is indeed really important. Which is why it is in the draft. In fairness, I don't expect any of them to read the entire thing, but if someone is going to comment on the material, it always helps if they have some passing acquaintance with said material. Call it a quirk of mine, I don't demand all-encompassing expertise but I do like the reassurance of a person knowing what they are talking about.

'Could you take the data and develop some percentages from it?' Continues the voice.

'Good idea, you could certainly have a look at the data and see what you can extrapolate from it,' I reply as helpfully as I can, 'it's in appendices C, D, E and F...' Watching his face fall at that suggestion. He seems to think his job is to chuck ideas in for some other to turn into reality, as though he says 'pie' and everyone else starts making pies. I know, I understand, that's my kind of job too, except that in this little team we have plenty of pie sayers and fewer pie makers. In such circumstances we all need to become pie makers, just for a little while. I'm giving him room to develop his concept/make that pie. And yes,if he wants to do it, he will have to get past his shudders and use what's there. As this is all covered in the table of contents and I've given him the headings and page numbers, and he has help from another team member, and he could just use Control+F if he is feeling really flummoxed, I don't think I am being a brute.

Plus I keep it cheery when he annoys another team member enough to make them step away for a couple of minutes. It's not really his fault, he just has a way about him. I get that too.

But oh I hate doing this! Give it to someone else! Someone else make this pie!