Antonio and a Warning

My problem with choking on food was not solved by the endoscopy I had in England years ago, but that doesn't stop the NHS from trying again up here, because apparently no one knows where my pre Scotland records are. So today I went in, they sprayed my throat, tried to shove a tube into the pipework via my mouth, everyone shouted instructions at me and tilted my head, my body, my shoulders in various directions. Impossible to stop gagging, they couldn't get the tube down. Cue my embarrassment and everyone telling me not to be embarrassed. They want to make another appointment, this time to include sedation. Trouble with that is that I must have someone with me throughout, as it means 24 hours worth of being bad at stuff like walking and staying awake. Anyway, I got out, nearly crying with frustration and, that word again, embarrassment, R brought me home, fed me ice cream, and I decided that really all I need to do is control my gag reflex, chew more slowly, I'll be fine, sure as hell not going back for this horrible stupid pointless procedure.

Mum's been so quiet recently, I was almost surprised when she phoned tonight. She had some sad news for me.
Long ago there was a guy who married the sister of my uncle. All the men were drinking buddies together. Antonio was congenial and extremely popular, with long lashes and eyes that genuinely seemed to twinkle. He was ridiculously funny, so affable that even when my father started to lose the plot this guy was able to coax him into genial temper. Admittedly this was accompanied by more booze but hey, welcome to the 70s. I remember seeing him on the Night of the Three Kings, a man of laughter playing King Melchior and handing out presents, not so much wearing the white beard as trapped under it. He wandered round like a short but bejewelled avalanche.

Mum said he was showing signs of dementia recently, and then suddenly none of that mattered. Just after new year he died.

Of choking.

Rest in peace Antonio. You fly high now, merry as you always were.

And yes, OK, I'll go back for endoscopy attempt number 3.