Terroreefied

[smokingboot]

I haven't washed any clothes for next week. mamapusscat has asked me for an email detailing shifts and times in London. I haven't sent it yet.

I am a little bit nervous of the new job. What if it doesn't work out?

So I am procrastinating; I don't want to think about it but it's hard to think about anything else; tense and irritable, it becomes easy for me to translate that into irritation with people around me; things they've done/haven't done suddenly magnify in annoyance. I tried to do some gardening, gave up, feeling drained, tried to write, my head groans, aches, doesn't want to play. I just want to sleep.

How I can be scared after the interview is a mystery, nothing could compare with that for sheer OMG factor. But it's my first new job in 5 years and things can still go wrong.

I should be smiling, dancing into the future, and due to a number of tiny emotional twitches, I am not, not quite.

I wish larians was here. I wish I didn't have to work this week. I wish I wasn't so bloody wet.

The third wish I can grant myself. Time for tea and a cracker.