Eeeep!

[smokingboot]

So it finally happened. Almost.


One of the very beautiful presenters on our show appeared a few months ago with her skin even more creamy-perfect than usual. She looked radiant. When asked her secret, she was brazen about it; she had just gone for her first course of botox injections, a bargain at £180 for two areas of the face. She's 26.

I couldn't stop looking at that smooth face. See, everyone knows I take my writing seriously - but TV work? It's hard to see myself as any kind of success in this field, not least because all my rivals for work are going to look like her or better.

Now in general I'm OK nick, but since my teens, my forehead's had a few deep wrinkles. I couldn't understand it. I thought it was hereditary as my mum and her mum had exactly the same, particularly the vertical line between my eyes. Does it show? Two friends from the station have been very candid with me: 'Yes, it does. But it's not the first thing noticed. Up close, it looks like a small deep scar...'

So I got the name of Miss DreamyCreamy's botoxist(?), and made my way today to Harley Street for a consultation. Miss DreamyCreamy had looked at the vertical wrinkle and said, 'Boy that's deep! Botox won't work on that, you'll need dermal filler!' The specialist, on examining it, disagreed.

'Are you a very expressive person?' He said, 'Always laughing or crying, face always doing something? Always been this way since you were little?'

I said yes.

'And was your mother sad a lot of the time?'

Again, affirmative.

'And I bet you noticed these lines when you were in your teens or early twenties?'

Right again.

'These aren't wrinkles and they're not hereditary. You saw your mother frown and imitated her. These are expression lines...it's pointless and expensive to put dermal filler in these. All you need to do at this point in your life is train your muscles to stop frowning. We do that with botox.'

I looked unhappy and asked for more details.

'Botox paralyses the muscles. Your first course won't last for more than three months, but as you go on, your muscles will stop trying to knit into that permanent frown. There will be top ups but fewer as you go on. Yes there will be a line, but a very fine one. These others... he pointed at the horizontals above my eyebrows...these are more difficult, because, placed too high the injections can create new ripples, a kind of Jack Nicholson look. But in exactly the right place, on that line, the paralysis will mean your eyebrows drop slightly. You will lose that permanently surprised look you have...'

I have a surprised look? He bade me look at his own face, this good looking man of about 25. '34,' he corrected me, 'I've had everything I'm recommending to you; my advice is to start with chemical peels to brighten your skin, combined with baby botox to soften the lines without losing expression, except for the centre of the forehead where we inject straight into the muscle (Isn't that my brain? I didn't dare ask...) Check up and top up in two weeks. We keep doing it until your muscles get out of the habit of frowning, a few years later perhaps dermal fillers and facial fillers, and when you are very much older, plastic surgery. But this is at least 10/20 years down the line, if then...you are in very good condition considering how long you have been ignoring your skin.'

Holy crap. I asked him to waggle his eyebrows. He did, but not much. He told me more, put no pressure on me and I left, having had nothing done. Because I don't know, you see. Yes I want to have creamy perfect skin sans lines or whatever. But that permanently surprised expression? I kind of like it. It's a part of me. I'm not ready to lose it.

Time for a bath I think, to relax me, eyebrows et al. And not a mad cow in sight...

Comments

What in the name of Jim Dale..?

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

You don't need botox, polyfiller, grout or anything like that, Oh Clotty One. Ask that nice Mr larians. He'll back me up on this.

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

Oh this is fascinating, thank you for posting it. Every now and then I dream of getting my nose done, but then I think - will I look like someone else? How would that even feel? And so I wimp out.
Plus I'm a wimp and broke, so it's not likely any day soon. But the desire to correct, to perfect, to *solve* my face is strangely present.
I say strange, because I don't do a damn thing about correcting my bodyfat percentage, and I could do some of that without actually spending any cash at all!

[squeezypaws.livejournal.com]

I did think people got botox to ACHIEVE a permanently surprised expressed. If you are blessed with one to start with you've just saved a few bob :)

I have the same vertical lines above my nose and I have mulled the idea of botox at some point, if my darling mum is anything to go by our eyes and foreheads age 15 years ahead of anything else on our bods.

Keep us posted!

[sarahfeeney.livejournal.com]

I think you are stunning and wonderful as you are. I do occasionally watch you on television (not because I am a stalker but for the joy of seeing a friendly face) I like the fact that you are expressive and not frozen into position by anything like botox.

I vote for the no additives or preservatives for the boot campaign :)

Sorry if this is too blunt

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

You don't look your age unless something drastic has happened since I last saw you. I reckon you look about six years younger than you actually are, and that if you try to increase that by much you'll just end up looking not quite right in a way that no-one can put their finger on, but it will be just strange enough to make you slightly less attractive. I might be wrong on that last bit.

However, as for the three questions he asked you, how many women who go to see him are likely to answer "no" to any of them? You do have a very animated face, and it's one of your better and more attractive features. Like your high eyebrows, which make you look more arch than surprised, imo. Tis a good thing.

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

In other words, I should have had botox when I was 8. In my case, I don't think they were expression lines. They were 'frowning because my eyes are light sensitive' lines.

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I suppose you could go the middle route, and lose the frown and keep the eyebrows. That way you wouldn't risk turning into Anne Robinson, who looks utterly ridiculous with all that work.

I am actually rather tempted by frown botox myself. As I have become more "cough" mature, I find that expressive is giving way to a permanently grumpy expression caused by my own frown lines.

It isn't actually grumpy, it's my "thinking face", but professionally it is better to appear somewhat more amiable, and less scary, than I do, in any walk of life.

Apart from that (Oh, OK, and the slightly jowly look caused by years of totally failing to do anything about an incipient double chin) I'm reasonably happy with my appearance, and more than pleased with my skin.

But I'm sure your nice doctor would see me as a total restoration project, and might NEED to be deliberately frowned at!

I admit to being a bit overemotional due to food poisoning...

[caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com]

Please don't mess around with your beautiful face. I feel quite sad at the idea of you losing a tenth of your expressiveness.

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I'm about to be pretty blunt back!

First, thanks for the lovely things you say about my animated face!

Second, the question is where that strangeness you describe via botox, collagen etc comes from; ie. botch jobs or people overdoing them/ becoming psychologically addicted to cosmetic surgery.

Most people wandering round having gone through these procedures look absolutely fine. More than fine. There are plenty of women and men from their 20s to their 70s who look just great, and yes, they've had stuff done. Would they be strange cos of the way they looked? Or because they don't adhere to the way you think a middle-aged/old person should look?

I look great in miniskirts. I don't make jam. I'm keeping my figure and dying my hair for as long as it entertains me. Society can just get over it, cos society's not getting the choice. And if I decide to have the injections, I can survive looking strange-but-you-can't-put-your-finger-on-why cos the injections last 3 months after which I can go right back to being reassuringly craggy:-D

The main issue around this question for me ain't disappearing youth, though it is interesting that this is the reason you assume. It's my work. Will it benefit my work? Would it help me get more work? The answer is yes, very probably. Is it worth losing my expressiveness for? I don't think so. Is there a middle way? Maybe. If I find it, I'll explore...

I do think you are right about the three questions though.

See you very soon! xxx

Re: What in the name of Jim Dale..?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you matron, he does indeed.

The head grout will have to wait for another day!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

It's strange, how one becomes defined by one's peculiarities. Perfect beauty isn't always interesting. Sometimes our flaws make us, and we don't need correcting.

I recently had my fringe cut short, above the vertical line between my eyes making it very obvious. After a works do, a drunken colleague came up to me, eyeballed the line sadly and said, in a voice soft as whispers, 'Did someone hurt you there?' touching it like a man might stroke a terrible wound.

For days after my beauty regime included spirit gumming my forehead high on either side to stretch the skin, then covering the line with spirit gum, then putting foundation over the top and 'whiting' out the line with a special stage make up pen. The line was nigh invisible, but under my fringe I was a klingon!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Apparently, that startled look de Cher comes from early facelifts or repeated ones. The point at which one finds the cleft in one's chin is in fact one's navel is surely the time to stop!

I hadn't noticed lines above your nose when we met, but yes, I'll certainly keep you posted!

[blackcurrants.livejournal.com]

Also, I realised after I posted that I hadn't done the "oh, but you shouldn't change a single thing about your perfect face!" thing, which I'm absolutely sure is true and I should have said, rather than responding with projection and abstraction. Here's the funny thing, though - I have no clear idea of your face at all. Perhaps because I've only seen you in a mask, darkly - and then never again. I rather like it. You're a being of glorious prose to me, and it almost makes it EASIER to communicate with you online. . .
Okay, I've been doing too much reading and not enough Talking To Others, and I'm sure I'm making no sense. Oh dear.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

How lovely to hear from you! Right now, the Boot campaign is without additives, albeit this evening she might be enhanced by a lethal combination of pancakes and alcohol!

You say lovely things and it cheers me up, thank you so much!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

We should all have had botox when we were 8, or our parents should have worn paper bags so's we wouldn't imitate their frowns and ruin our peerless foreheads.

Light sensitive? So does your skin pull at the side?

In other matters, I have looked at your 10. I have nothing to respond with as I don't really download photos, but there's so much there, in the secret life of you. I found it intense and beautiful.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Well you see, I will be checking out other doctors and clinics in time, just in case he was being supercilious. I know what you mean by the thinking frown, I have one too, and it's just a case of people not misreading a set of features. Your skin is awesomely pretty. If there's one thing Anne Robinson shows us all, it's that a smooth face over a raddled neck is not much of a solution. But she is so happy with it, all I can do is applaud and wait until she's sorted her turkey scrag out!

Re: I admit to being a bit overemotional due to food poisoning...

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Don't be sad. Be well beloved one. I am never going to stop being an OTT goofball. Ever. And my face will always reflect that.

Love you. Now get well xxx

Beings of prose

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I understand this perfectly! Not only does it make sense to me, I am entirely at home with it. I am more my true self in my writing than in any other way.

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

There we differ. I thought Anne Robinson's old face was full of expression and character, while her new face is Geriatric Barbie on prozac.

I will be fascinated to hear the results of your research. I have to say I don't think £180 is too bad, esp not for Harley Street.

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

I look great in miniskirts

Darling Boot, you look great in everything from FairyGothMother corsetry, to a flour sack by Mothers Pride. Part of this is that you're moving so fast and unpredictably that you're slightly blurred at the edges.
Boot comes with soft focus build in.

Soft Focus. Hard nosed,
static plastic business face.
Permanent surprise.

Soft Focus. Iron will.
Her skin, a map of all the stars,
a sparkling galaxy.


Sorry about that, sometimes it just happens.

Oldbagism

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I understand well the sadness of the woman with the 'characterful' face, who just wants to be beautiful wants to be the one who makes the room light up. What is it to look at your face and feel truly beautiful, even if no-one else sees it - as opposed to the girl who has everyone reassuring her that she has a great doughty strong face only to look in the mirror and cry cos she thinks she's ugly? Which is the more healthy emotional state?

Traditional British culture seems a bit lost re pretty women. It doesn't quite approve of them, and as they grow older, the Carry On Cliche gets harsher and harsher, oldbagism in its many forms: Hattie Jacques was a very sensual woman with a gorgeous face whose lovers could not get enough of her; on screen they made her Oldfatbag. Joan Sims, a pretty woman with a sweet face faded into Oldnagbag. We seem to inherently mistrust good looking women until we can turn them into sex jokes or not-sexy-any-more jokes, mutton-dressed-as-lamb jokes, desperate nympho jokes, wives-to-be-avoided jokes...Choose your derision.

Anne's not prepared to accept oldbagism as her swansong. Good for her I say!

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

We are all beautiful when bytepilot sings us.

Thank you xxx

How is it that bluntness cuts so sharply.

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

I'll write the libretto, but I think it better that someone else should actually sing.

(xxx)

Re: Oldbagism

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

It's a fair cop.

I guess I grew out of wanting to be beautiful in my 30s, when I realised it wasn't going to happen, and took a long hard look at the chaos their beauty wrought on the lives of my prettier friends. (who were actress and model pretty.) But funnily enough, it was me who attracted the decent boyfriends, they were both utter bastard magnets. I never did figure that one out.

I'm not being self deprecating here, I have a perfectly serviceable face, in my 30s it was even quite pretty, and even now people arn't going to hide their children from it, but nor is anyone going to pay me money to take pictures of it, and blokes have always complimented me on my "great personality", or worse, not got their eyes up to the level of my face at all! (LOL)

OTOH, having self confidence that does not depend upon the beauty of face and figure is probably better than being born beautiful.

Though in my next life ................

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

Does my skin pull at the side? *stares at it* *is baffled*

Hayfever, I think. Or perhaps the astigmatism I didn't know about at that age. I'm also sensory defensive.

[croak108.livejournal.com]

Lasst yeare, igh noticed a line above mygh noze; still tHere.
Ys it catchinng?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Like where you might crinkle your lids to protect your eyes. Or where you might smile. Or laugh. Or anything really...

I have a little astigmatism. Some stars used to shape like apple cores when I looked at them. I am ashamed to be so ignorant, I don't know what sensory defensiveness is.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Yes. Eventually it joins up with all our frown lines and forms a map of the London Underground.

I learned a lot from the man in Harley Street.

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

It was only ever the two lines between the eyebrows. No forehead furrows since those are caused mainly by raised eyebrows.

My astigmatism is moderately severe. If I'd been born thirty years later I'd have been tested for it at the age of 2 and gone through life with glasses. Thankfully, I wasn't, although opticians (and ophthalmologists) were always dismayed by my resistance to glasses. How ever did I manage? etc. One gets used to compensating for it, or at least I did.

Sensory defensiveness. There's a book about it called Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight. The title pretty much sums it up.

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

I assumed that it was work-related, but more that the work was making you feel like you looked too old rather than that you were seeing it as cynically as you state. I'm glad that you've not been sucked into the eternal youth machine. :-)

I wouldn't call you craggy though, reassuringly or otherwise.

Of course I totally agree with your right to look how you like - I am just not entirely convinced that you would look better, and presumably getting more work would hinge on you looking better. Perhaps you would. I'd be interested to see, even though I am naturally quite conservative about such things.

I also know that a whole load of people do look better, but my comment was specifically aimed at you: you are so animated, and the chappie seemed to be specifically trying to take that away, and I can only see down sides to that particular point. I suppose it all depends on whether the overall effect is positive enough to outweigh that negative.

And, in case it wasn't clear, I really didn't mean to dictate or offend.

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I know you would never mean to dictate or offend.

And I'm not as cynical as I sound - I would love to make drastic changes to my skin, but vanity alone would not be enough to induce me to face even minor paralysis - the idea of injections paralyses me quite enough - and I couldn't afford them either. It's as a job expense that this becomes something to take seriously, along with whitening the teeth; the industry smiles upon it because the viewers like it. They don't always want yoof, but they pretty much love freshness, which many see as synonymous. This is unfortunate as I'm proud of my age but right now I feel about as fresh as a month old teabag.

I like my animation too, and I think it's what makes me interesting, so if it's what I have to give up for smooth skin, I would share your objections fiercely!

Re the eternal youth machine, I've got no problems with it. People should love themselves and be happy with the way they look. This is the age of miracles, if you don't like it, change it! Trouble is, it shines a light on neurosis and self hate too and that can be pretty dangerous.

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

My objection to the eternal youth machine is that it deliberately knocks people's self-confidence in order to make money out of them and also demonises getting old. e.g. at the Wedding Show (which you shoulod be really glad you never went to) there were women popping up all over the place telling me they could give me this or that for my wrinkles, because I couldn't possibly want to look as wrinkly as I do on my wedding day. They didn't like it when I saif I was perfectly happy with the way I look and that I think the lines I have give me character. There was always a hush and a funny look, sometimes accompanied by a "really?" If I wasn't quite so secure on that point they would have really made me feel like poo.

Re: Sorry if this is too blunt

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's the Youth Machine that demonises getting old.

A quick glance through English art and literature shows us that ageism was rampant long before we had the wherewithal to do anything about it; the only person more ridiculous than The Old Woman was The Poor Old Woman.

Even back in the time of Ben Jonson's Volpone there was a lot of derision for women trying to keep themselves looking young, often with dangerous concoctions! So they were scorned for trying, but if they let nature take its course they would eventually be scorned for being ugly ergo worthless. In a world where they had no money or power or control over their lives or bodies, a world in which God hated them, what was the moral? Women, hate yourselves some more! Get used to being ugly!

Thank god that hideous drivel doesn't run our lives anymore. The difference now is that more and more people can do something about it. Yes, that means a sales pitch is bound to turn up. But I would rather face a sale for beauty than a sale for something I regard as something much more dangerous, ie marriage!

BTW; the saleswoman who tried to get you was an idiot. You were entirely the wrong mark for her, having very good skin indeed, with no requirement for smoothing out - she sounds desperate!