I, Monster

[smokingboot]

Homewards on the bus in the rain and the dark, a curious smell permeates. I look around. God, is there someone here who needs a bath? But the smell isn't body odour; it's like when wet clothes aren't hung to air properly, and a strange musty pong results no matter how clean they are. I get off the bus, walk home and take off my shoes to solve the mystery. My boots have completely leaked, my feet are sodden and my socks smell like big wet mushrooms.

To add to the magic, my suspicions regarding wheat intolerance seem well founded. After giving up bread, many of my symptoms have disappeared. I had one slice this afternoon, and it's safe to say my duodenum appears to have thrown a tantrum about it. Repeatedly.

I feel sorry for anyone who had to walk behind me/in front of me/anywhere near me tonight.

And yes, I am having that bath.