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smokingbootHappy about that last poem. It feels like it is about me, about my life.
Wrote it in the dark.
Right now poems are turning up as little vignettes in my head, vivid scenes like memories. In some cases they are memories.
I undergo very powerful dream states, always have done, even while awake. If I see something in my mind's eye, it is usually clear and quite distinct. The difference between such sights and the real world remains very evident to me, but I stay mindful, because varying forms of psychosis are not unknown to the family. Explanations and terms like 'psychic' enable reassurance and pattern making, and enable some form of acceptance, even a sense of usefulness. However they also come with a lot of expectation and baggage, most of it negative. I don't think I should have to be useful. I'm not a product.
The truth is, I don't know what it is. But I am very glad that my brain works this way.
Come to think of it, there's a lot that makes me smile right now.
Wrote it in the dark.
Right now poems are turning up as little vignettes in my head, vivid scenes like memories. In some cases they are memories.
I undergo very powerful dream states, always have done, even while awake. If I see something in my mind's eye, it is usually clear and quite distinct. The difference between such sights and the real world remains very evident to me, but I stay mindful, because varying forms of psychosis are not unknown to the family. Explanations and terms like 'psychic' enable reassurance and pattern making, and enable some form of acceptance, even a sense of usefulness. However they also come with a lot of expectation and baggage, most of it negative. I don't think I should have to be useful. I'm not a product.
The truth is, I don't know what it is. But I am very glad that my brain works this way.
Come to think of it, there's a lot that makes me smile right now.
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