Blue Room Disaster

[smokingboot]

The blue room is a smog of straw, dust, peat, strewn leaves and freshly cut branches. I will dust and hoover it...any minute now. I'm exhausted. This is all about cleaning out the freaks of course. The ladies are mad and desperate not to be caught, the gentlemen uncomprehending and wondering where the food is.

Of Freak's first litter, the two girls were the biggest pain in the butt. They've never been easy since I gave them each other's names; I called the agouti, 'Pretty,' bacause she was cute, and the deep grey one, 'Opi' cos she was the first of the litter to open her eyes, and work out the world beyond the nest. Transpires that Pretty has grown into a scrawnball of extreme cunning and Opi is a beautiful but idiotic siamese gerbil (that's the term, I kid you not - sooty face, paws and tail against a deep fawn coat).

Pretty has always despised steeeenkeee hoomans, and is really hard to catch, but once she's in your hands, she'll settle and watch the outside world with interest, planning revenge all the while. Opi has no clue of what's going on until you catch her, and then she will squirm, she will wriggle, she will writhe, she will piss (the only one of our lot ever to be so rude) she will do everything she can to put you off - except biting you of course. That option never occurs. Told you she was stupid.

And on the gents side, Tux, the black one with the white bib, digs deep and hides most convincingly, while the others gawp and get caught, but at least he behaves once the game is up. Fingerlicking Fred, by contrast, is easy to catch because too many sunflower seeds have turned him into a pudding rat, but he is the only one to have escaped, not once but twice, into the wonders of the blue room. I don't know how he does it. He seems to just haul his mighty arse over the edge of the holding cage when I'm not looking. Then he ambles off, genially exploring the top of the filing cabinet. He knows it well - he leapt full fathoms five off the bloody thing earlier this year.


Anyway, tis all done, and they are back in their newly peated up homes. Now I have to clean up the carnage they've left. And I have loads of work to do, stuff to write, emails to answer, phone calls to make. And I just want to go back to bed.

Hello Friday. Goodbye Friday.