Beauty Conniptions

[smokingboot]

It was a mistake to talk to my mother about hair. Mine's at a distressing stage of shrubbery because there are no hairdressers open. My choices are to let it continue impersonating a straw hat or to take clippers to it. I told Mum.

'Send me a photo of yourself,' was her text response, so unthinkingly I did. Her response was not quite but almost a case of 'God, yes, you really are in trouble! And what about your eyebrows?'

Her horrified reaction left no doubt; she was trying to be polite but to her eyes I am in Zellweger mode, and not even the Brigid Jones version, no, no, we are talking full on potato-face Cold Mountain Zellweger. In mortal terror at how I had let myself go, Mum dug out her favourite photo of my best eyebrow and told me to take this depiction of my 19 year old self to a beautician and let them sort the mess out.

Mum's not up for the thick brows of today, especially, as she might say looking at me meaningfully, when we get older. My mother's wisdom includes such gems as the older one gets, the less brow looks good, but never pluck them too sparse, and no, one does not need long hair past one's shoulder unless one wants to look like a witch and no, quite especially one does not need long nails but if you are going to have nails, they must be very very clean or painted only never in that colour. I can't really object to any of this as she looks amazing for 85. But I am a bit bored with pixie cut hair, having had it for something like 10 years. So maybe a little mini bob, or even trying extensions for a couple of months.

But whatever I do, she gets no more photos til I am nicely sorted. I'm amused but also mortified by her polite and barely concealed horror.

Comments

[mallorys_camera]

My hair is quite long right now, and I hate it but not enought to deal with going to a hairdresser's. Also, I look like the Mona Lisa without eyebrow pencil because my eyebrows are so sparse!

[benicek]

I got a technically illegal haircut today in my garden. Though my barber is a colleague who works inside my hospital bubble where no social distancing exists. I feel much lighter!

I love natural eyebrows on women. Never understood why the beauty industry wages war on them.

[smokingboot]

Well, this of course is where Mum's wisdom falls down; eyebrows get more sparse with time so why she thinks we need to guard against excess bushiness I don't know. Maybe she's thinking of men who do seem to develop endless reams of eyebrow hair.

[smokingboot]

I guess it's because they give mood and shape to a face. Natural eyebrows can be very beautiful, I agree.