The Queimada

[smokingboot]

A few years back for my birthday, my mischievous uncle Pepe cooked this stuff up in a cauldron outside my aunt's house. I'll never forget the bright blue flames licking up the ladle, and not going out until the lid was placed back on!

He told me that there was a spell to be said over it which would make a witch leap out of the flames; maybe I mistranslated from what I know to be the Queimada ritual which is meant to banish all evil. It certainly banishes all thought: One sip feels like two bullets, one between the eyes, one smack through your heart. Then you could be assailed by a coven of witches plus the Goat of Mendes and all its descendants, you just won't care.


Here's the recipe.
1 litre orujo (Galician aguardente)
2/3 cup granulated sugar
Rind of one lemon
Peel of one apple
7 coffee beans
Dissolve a tbsp of sugar in about 5 tbsp of Aguardiente in a small glass and set aside.
In a fireproof pot (with lid as you’ll need it to put out the flames) add the rest of the liquor and sugar, the lemon peel, apple peel & coffee beans.
Stir until combined and the sugar has dissolved.
Pour the glass of liquor and sugar into a ladle and light it on fire with a match. Lower the ladle into the pot until it catches fire.
Stir it around until the flames turn blue and recite the spell: here is one version, though I doubt it is the same as the witch-enticer Uncle Pepe mentioned.


Owls, barn owls, toads and witches,
Demons, goblins and devils, spirits of the misty vales.
Crows, salamanders and witches,
charms of the folk healer(ess).
Rotten pierced canes,home of worms and vermin.
Wisps of the Holy Company, evil eye, black witchcraft, scent of the putrid dead, thunder and lightning.
Howl of the black dog, omen of death,
maws of the satyr and foot of the rabbit.
Sinful tongue of the bad woman married to an old man.
Satan and Beelzebub's Inferno, fire of the burning corpses,
mutilated bodies of the indecent ones,
farts of the asses of doom,
bellow of the enraged sea.
Useless belly of the unmarried woman,
Speech of the cats in heat, dirty turf of the wicked born goat.
With this bellows I will pump the flames of this fire which looks
like that from Hell, and witches will flee, straddling their brooms,
going to bathe in the beach of the thick sands.
Hear! Hear the roars of those that cannot stop burning in the firewater, becoming so purified.
And when this beverage goes down our throats, we will get free of
the evil of our soul and of any charm.
Forces of air, earth, sea and
fire, to you I make this call: if it's true that you have more power
than people, here and now, make the spirits of the friends who are
outside, take part with us in this Queimada!


Let it burn for a few minutes and put the flames out.

Of Aguardente I have heard before in other ritual practices. It is used by shamans at the start of Ayahuasca ceremonies, rubbed into the heads of participants, supposedly purifying. I had no idea it was the same stuff.

Farts of the asses of doom eh? Be afraid, be very afraid.