2000 years later...

[smokingboot]

I just turned on the tv to see a Homepride bowlerhat/bucketface man rendered from a tiny 70's ad graphic into a six foot tall kitchen diva terrorising staff and by-standers with his demands for perfect instant sauces. This was quickly followed by a raddled, plucked and I suspect octagenarian Julie Walters pretending to be Santa's pixie p.a wandering the hallowed halls of Asda. In a desperate bid to breathe animation into Tom Hanks, some fool has turned Tom Hanks into animation, nor can one look to music for escape; the ooze issuing from every pore of MTV is forming itself into a snowflake and reindeer sweater round the television.

Welcome to Christmas. Admission's free, you pay to get out.

Comments

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

That's just bizarre.

[bad-moon-rising.livejournal.com]

Where do I pay ? Also can I make it direct debit throughout the year to avoid the rush next year ? :)

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

After watching Harry Hill doing Christmas adverts for Boots (3 for 2! Yippee!) I thought I could handle it. I was so wrong.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Pay me.

I will put the money towards a Christmas in the Eagle and Child pub in Oxford. C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkein used to meet there and yammer about literature over ale and pipes and other old duffer pleasures. Let's run off to the fantasy version, with wooden chairs and doors wide enough to be flung open when two oxen come in, yoked to an enormous yule log to which we tie effigies of Harry Hill, Julie Walters and other horrors of Christmas Present.

What others do with the log won't concern us because then we go out the door at the back - avoiding crazed old dons prancing naked in the water meadows - out into the Wood between the Worlds to find strange new lands. We must take everyone we love and want with us, because there's no guarantee we'll ever come back...

Ho Ho Ho!