smokingboot: (blackswan)
Chums of this journal will mostly be aware that I have a family member who suffers from serious mental illness, and has done so for well over 30 years. Sometimes it's funny, mostly it's tragic and a bit exasperating. I just received a letter from her, and because I am dreadful for losing things, especially important things, I am copying here words from her letter that I never want to forget. Just in case.

'I am 71 years of age...Debbie, at this age we are fully aware of everything, of the chances lost, or how life should have been, my wish for you is that you do not leave to pass anything that can be good for your interests, or nice, or good for you, chances rarely present themselves twice, be happy and look after yourself.'

Thank you Mum. I do love you X
smokingboot: (blue lovers)
I recently linked to an article on certain mystical aspects of love (find via the tag at the bottom of this post) is a different take on the phenomenon, Helen Fisher's TED lecture specifically considering what happens in the brain in love.

It is a beautiful talk and I find it very interesting though self evident in parts: You fall in love, the brain starts producing lots of dopamine; well I could honestly have guessed that. What I want to know is, does the brain start producing dopamine because I see The One, or do I decide he's The One because I meet him at a time when my brain is producing lots of dopamine? And there is a gentle conformity to stereotypes* which I am not sure about, though she has the grace to accept that these may have more to do with the evolution of Nurture rather than Nature. It is a very graceful passionate lecture with brilliant touches about rejection, long term love, and love in nature.

Something I find interesting is the way both the earlier article and the lecture rely heavily upon poetry to express the essence of love.

The time may well come when [ profile] jfs heartily regrets introducing me to TED!

Edited to add
* Helen speaks of four different 'types' of personality, the Dopamine, Serotonin, Estrogen and Testosterone types. I have just tried the test on the website she mentions ( she mentions in her talk, and to a certain extent, it's old wine in new bottles. It turns out that I am a negotiator (Estrogen)/Explorer (Dopamine) type. OK, why am I estrogen? Empathy is the key identifier for estrogen types in the test, for no stronger reason than that women = estrogen and are traditionally considered to be empathic...or maybe I have missed something. Now, the first thing we establish before the test starts is that I am a straight female. So was it the test results that made me Estrogen, or was that extrapolated from this originating info? Hmm...Not sure about this. But still a fascinating talk.
smokingboot: (intimacy)
It has never been easy for me to explain my views on these, but this article expresses some of my ideas much better than I can - especially my long held mistrust of marriage. I record the link here so that I can come back and consider, because it resonates with me but there is still a lot I don't understand. Be warned, those who are curious, it is a spiritual/mystic piece!
smokingboot: (rosemaid)
Of John and Anita's wedding )
The Vicar )

The Organist )

After all this came food and speeches, scalextric and bopping at old Billesley Manor, with its grand fountain and bizarre post-modernist topiary; a fine night, stars out and a crescent moon, horns upturned. I looked at that moon and found myself realising how far we've come. Words can only say so much about really important matters; faces, love, music, feelings, true things speak for themselves.

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Shockley. Here's to the coming years.
smokingboot: (heart)
In paradise I'll drown in you

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