That was a day.

[smokingboot]

And I wonder, all this exhaustion I have been feeling and assumed it was Covid/the vaccine/whatever, was it in fact this thing, waiting to cause trouble?

All very unpleasant and uncomfortable, but despite that, I find ultrasounds magical.

I told Mum, simply because I didn't have enough energy to think about anything else when she rang, I was literally waiting for the taxi to take me to the hospital. She's gone through the roof of course, but she had already started on a new cycle of fretting about the return of monkey pox, and had adjusted all her tops so that she doesn't need to buy new clothes that might have been touched by infected people. Now, she has something real requiring her thoughts, and I have impressed upon her my need for sensible lifestyle information from her. It gives her something to do that isn't fretting, though I already know what I should be doing. Less, in fact probably no milk, no meat except for fish, salads and fresh vegetables rather than cooked meals. There's time and life and recurrence to think about. As the surgeon said yesterday, 'we're going to be monitoring you now for the next ten years.'

OK, here's to those years!

Meanwhile I find my brother suddenly very hard to contact. Given the circumstances, I think it's OK tagging him in to help with Mum. I speak to her every day, he speaks to her every few weeks and sometimes then only when she pleads with me to get him to talk to her. Even then he doesn't say much. I get that she's a mind-eater and that it is hard, but it is what it is. He may freak out a bit, but I'll make him laugh about his stents and family attitude, pull on every ridiculous memory and absurdity if I have to and he'll be fine. What he can't do is hide away. He has to take a little interest in Mum's needs. Come on, Bro, step up. You know I don't ask unless I must.

So now what? My husband is here, I will ask him to get spinach, kale, green apples, cucumber, lemon/lime, ginger & celery... time for those green juice breakfasts mum is always banging on about. Even if they do me no good, it will make her happy to know her advice is being taken, and it will keep her away from being maudlin. I should go get the ingredients myself, but yesterday wore me out a bit; more than a bit. I want to go to Callander, to check out the family stomping ground. I forget if R is working today; even if he isn't it's about 50 minutes in the car.

Yesterday was horrendous, but today will be all right. And tomorrow will be better.