Waking, sleep, and the Blackthorn Man
Dec. 11th, 2023 06:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootI must be getting better; I am up at 6 again! My brain's been chattering intermittently since 4, and cats have succeeded in their attempts to blackmail me into breakfast. Now of course I'm exhausted and want to go back to sleep but still at least this is the re-emergence of a non-sickness based pattern! Last few days I've been sleeping in at least til 9. It's been very weird.
Dream pic, Christ Among The Standing Stones. Very vague, block colours but I couldn't quite get the image right; the moment I thought It's Him! I ran straight in, but the colours eluded me, and I could feel my waking mind suddenly imposing lots of shape and narrative, making him look like I would expect him to look... I'm interfering. That's not the way to get the best from my subconscious. I have to wait...
12.06. Oh, I make myself laugh! Today, I woke at 6 thinking hurrah my sleep must be back to normal, fed the cats their medicine, remembered the vision, tried to replicate it for myself, failed laughably, started to write the above. Stopped at the word narrative, as my body basically ordered me back to bed to sleep deep and wake...
at 11.15!
No doubt that I am feeling better. I ended my fast last night, and the cramps seem fewer, but they are not gone. If this continues I may have to go to the GP, see if anti-biotics are needed. I'll mention it at my check up this week.
This is another day that I cannot do my next piece of work. Irritating.
My second block of sleep had an interesting dream though. Sunny day, going down some steps, meeting SE on the inside of what seemed like a massive warehouse/garage door with a strange arm barrier across it. I couldn't understand how this worked, or why it worked. It could only be lifted from our side, so it was to keep things out. But we were in the open air, how far could this barrier wall stretch? If anyone was going to come in, surely at some point it would just be a case of coming round the sides? He tried to explain to me, but I didn't understand. There was no danger, he wasn't a guard, he was just pottering amicably. I was gratified also to notice a bat joining us, flitting across the bright blue sky and sunshine. However incongruous, something about it gave me a sense of relief, as though the right folk/beasts whatever could be found here. This was a very good place.
There was a young man, handsome and well built, but utterly filthy, covered in leaves and dirt, part hippy, part crusty, part forest man. His hair was long and full of woodland detritus, his eyes were loving and he wanted to kiss me, but when he smiled, I saw a huge black shrub was growing between his teeth and spilling out over his lips and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't work out how he spoke with that thing there, never mind anything else. I refused as politely and sweetly as I could, though he was... I will say persistent rather than insistent. I felt terrible about it, he wasn't asking for some passionate lip lock, just a kiss, and he was completely adorable and non threatening, not trying to steal my loyalty to R. He was sincere, non sexual I think, no seducer. But despite all those caveats, even as an act of gentle friendship, how was I to kiss him with this strange black bush growing down his beard and soil sprinkling his teeth? As I looked at him, I noticed that the bush was all around the left side of his mouth. Anyway, a whole bunch of us were sitting by a beautiful river, and some had elected to entertain us. He was among them.
He started dancing to a very happy sunny tune, something like the 'My Life' theme from Despicable Me. His style of dancing was unique, a style others called 'bone dancing.' 🤨 He could switch and move his bones around, and change shape entirely and very rhythmically. To everyone's enjoyment he turned into several versions of golden haired California heart throb, along the young Kurt Russell/Kris Kristofferson style, and then kept varying the theme though he never stopped being tanned, built, and blonde. The joke was on me of course, because he was glorious, with pearly teeth and no obstructions around the jaw, but my refusal to kiss him had never been to do with a lack of beauty. He was plenty gorgeous enough before. It was that damned blackthorn bush in his gob and accompanying muck that put me off. I wasn't being unreasonable in wanting him to clean his teeth.
Anyway, turned out he had somehow sneaked a kiss off me, he had pecked my cheek or something. I hadn't noticed it happening, or had forgotten. Suddenly I saw him pulling those black weeds out and away from his mouth, stuff that just fell to the floor like hair gathered from a brush, rolled up, thrown away, and he was fine. But what shape he had when all this happened, and when in the chronology of the dream it happened, I couldn't say. Only that it was the last thing I recalled, but even then, I realised I might not be seeing/remembering things in order. One thing felt certain though and I recognise it now, how properly fairy the whole thing was.
That riverside's not a bad place. Next year if I am able I will pursue blue skies and sunshine.
And now, I must attempt a little sense. The kitchen looks terrible, the bins must be emptied, and if I can't be creative I may as well be useful. 13.19, got to wake up.
Dream pic, Christ Among The Standing Stones. Very vague, block colours but I couldn't quite get the image right; the moment I thought It's Him! I ran straight in, but the colours eluded me, and I could feel my waking mind suddenly imposing lots of shape and narrative, making him look like I would expect him to look... I'm interfering. That's not the way to get the best from my subconscious. I have to wait...
12.06. Oh, I make myself laugh! Today, I woke at 6 thinking hurrah my sleep must be back to normal, fed the cats their medicine, remembered the vision, tried to replicate it for myself, failed laughably, started to write the above. Stopped at the word narrative, as my body basically ordered me back to bed to sleep deep and wake...
at 11.15!
No doubt that I am feeling better. I ended my fast last night, and the cramps seem fewer, but they are not gone. If this continues I may have to go to the GP, see if anti-biotics are needed. I'll mention it at my check up this week.
This is another day that I cannot do my next piece of work. Irritating.
My second block of sleep had an interesting dream though. Sunny day, going down some steps, meeting SE on the inside of what seemed like a massive warehouse/garage door with a strange arm barrier across it. I couldn't understand how this worked, or why it worked. It could only be lifted from our side, so it was to keep things out. But we were in the open air, how far could this barrier wall stretch? If anyone was going to come in, surely at some point it would just be a case of coming round the sides? He tried to explain to me, but I didn't understand. There was no danger, he wasn't a guard, he was just pottering amicably. I was gratified also to notice a bat joining us, flitting across the bright blue sky and sunshine. However incongruous, something about it gave me a sense of relief, as though the right folk/beasts whatever could be found here. This was a very good place.
There was a young man, handsome and well built, but utterly filthy, covered in leaves and dirt, part hippy, part crusty, part forest man. His hair was long and full of woodland detritus, his eyes were loving and he wanted to kiss me, but when he smiled, I saw a huge black shrub was growing between his teeth and spilling out over his lips and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't work out how he spoke with that thing there, never mind anything else. I refused as politely and sweetly as I could, though he was... I will say persistent rather than insistent. I felt terrible about it, he wasn't asking for some passionate lip lock, just a kiss, and he was completely adorable and non threatening, not trying to steal my loyalty to R. He was sincere, non sexual I think, no seducer. But despite all those caveats, even as an act of gentle friendship, how was I to kiss him with this strange black bush growing down his beard and soil sprinkling his teeth? As I looked at him, I noticed that the bush was all around the left side of his mouth. Anyway, a whole bunch of us were sitting by a beautiful river, and some had elected to entertain us. He was among them.
He started dancing to a very happy sunny tune, something like the 'My Life' theme from Despicable Me. His style of dancing was unique, a style others called 'bone dancing.' 🤨 He could switch and move his bones around, and change shape entirely and very rhythmically. To everyone's enjoyment he turned into several versions of golden haired California heart throb, along the young Kurt Russell/Kris Kristofferson style, and then kept varying the theme though he never stopped being tanned, built, and blonde. The joke was on me of course, because he was glorious, with pearly teeth and no obstructions around the jaw, but my refusal to kiss him had never been to do with a lack of beauty. He was plenty gorgeous enough before. It was that damned blackthorn bush in his gob and accompanying muck that put me off. I wasn't being unreasonable in wanting him to clean his teeth.
Anyway, turned out he had somehow sneaked a kiss off me, he had pecked my cheek or something. I hadn't noticed it happening, or had forgotten. Suddenly I saw him pulling those black weeds out and away from his mouth, stuff that just fell to the floor like hair gathered from a brush, rolled up, thrown away, and he was fine. But what shape he had when all this happened, and when in the chronology of the dream it happened, I couldn't say. Only that it was the last thing I recalled, but even then, I realised I might not be seeing/remembering things in order. One thing felt certain though and I recognise it now, how properly fairy the whole thing was.
That riverside's not a bad place. Next year if I am able I will pursue blue skies and sunshine.
And now, I must attempt a little sense. The kitchen looks terrible, the bins must be emptied, and if I can't be creative I may as well be useful. 13.19, got to wake up.
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Date: 2023-12-11 03:25 pm (UTC)