smokingboot: (Default)
[personal profile] smokingboot
I am nervous.

No need to be; the difficult issues are a while away yet, and though there's stuff to be done I can put it off. There's only one obligation later this evening, I need do very little but make a phone call or two, but I slept very badly and there are butterflies in my stomach.

This is such an unusual feeling I am wondering if perhaps I am not nervous but hungry. Nothing is happening, there's been no dream to perturb me, nothing is more wrong than yesterday or the day before. I noticed, however, that I am doing something which is an occasional fret sign from my childhood. I am singing or talking to myself in languages I don't know/unconsciously make up. I don't know what the phrases mean, obviously they don't mean anything. They could be just sounds like music, like la-la-la... only they are words in a sentence or phrase. It concerned me that I did this but it's never as crazy as it sounds, it's just glossolalia, some kind of early years comfort thing just as I used to write out make believe alphabets somewhere between runes, cuneiform, and Tolkein alphabets.

But it emphasises that I am not quite level, not quite OK. I am aware that my base mood has been gradually deteriorating since last week so this isn't out of nowhere. But the realisation that actually I am in a bad place has switched on suddenly. It is frustrating because I can't pinpoint a reason for it.

OK, so perfume, rescue me!

Again Montale Intense Cafe; Is neither intense nor cafe. A very nice top note though nothing that's recognisably coffee on my skin. It's a refined rose (again!) combined with some kind of addition that comes off as nut-like, elegant for the first hour then pleasant/inoffensive for the rest of the day. Maison Margiela's Coffee Break does the eponymous note far better, but they both come in at similar prices and Coffee Break's an eau de toilette so lasts nowhere near as long.

I have finished both these testers. Boo!

Date: 2024-01-11 02:45 pm (UTC)
mallorys_camera: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mallorys_camera
I hope you feel more peaceful very soon. ❤️

Date: 2024-01-11 03:53 pm (UTC)
bleodswean: (Default)
From: [personal profile] bleodswean
I know exactly of what you speak. And being Irish Catholic, I tend toward reading that feeling as an omen and then that's all she wrote. *hugs*

Coffee perfume just sounds horrid to me, but I think I ruined my olfactory senses with the decades of punk rock patchouli.
Edited Date: 2024-01-11 03:53 pm (UTC)

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