PLOOF! /Too Much Information
May. 29th, 2026 01:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootI mean it, beware!
It's about certain swimsuits.
I need a new swimsuit. So I bought one, it looked all right, leopard print always works well with me. Tried it on, rather nice actually, surprisingly flattering though there's some kind of extra stuff under the suit, maybe that's to keep it clean or something. Looking at myself, liking the contour except...
Down under my lower abdomen, there's something that's suspect. I look... that is to say that part of my body looks...how to put this... a little...not swollen exactly but ever so slightly... well there's a bit of a bulge, not so much like some happy nugget of a pnis, more like I stuffed a small but perfectly baked muffin down my knicks.
It's not me, and it's not the undies I am wearing under the swimsuit, it's the swimsuit itself. I investigate it again. What is all this mularky on the underside? Understanding begins to dawn. No wonder I look slimmer. I appear to have bought it without noticing that it's actually a tummy control swimsuit, and what happens when one puts it on is that it squishes the upper tum, squishes the lower tum, down down down until the control stops and then
PLOOF!
It's about certain swimsuits.
I need a new swimsuit. So I bought one, it looked all right, leopard print always works well with me. Tried it on, rather nice actually, surprisingly flattering though there's some kind of extra stuff under the suit, maybe that's to keep it clean or something. Looking at myself, liking the contour except...
Down under my lower abdomen, there's something that's suspect. I look... that is to say that part of my body looks...how to put this... a little...not swollen exactly but ever so slightly... well there's a bit of a bulge, not so much like some happy nugget of a pnis, more like I stuffed a small but perfectly baked muffin down my knicks.
It's not me, and it's not the undies I am wearing under the swimsuit, it's the swimsuit itself. I investigate it again. What is all this mularky on the underside? Understanding begins to dawn. No wonder I look slimmer. I appear to have bought it without noticing that it's actually a tummy control swimsuit, and what happens when one puts it on is that it squishes the upper tum, squishes the lower tum, down down down until the control stops and then
PLOOF!
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no subject
Date: 2026-05-29 01:19 pm (UTC)Well, at least it wasn't a hernia?
no subject
Date: 2026-05-29 01:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-05-29 08:03 pm (UTC)