PLOOF! /Too Much Information

I mean it, beware!

It's about certain swimsuits.

I need a new swimsuit. So I bought one, it looked all right, leopard print always works well with me. Tried it on, rather nice actually, surprisingly flattering though there's some kind of extra stuff under the suit, maybe that's to keep it clean or something. Looking at myself, liking the contour except...

Down under my lower abdomen, there's something that's suspect. I look... that is to say that part of my body looks...how to put this... a little...not swollen exactly but ever so slightly... well there's a bit of a bulge, not so much like some happy nugget of a pnis, more like I stuffed a small but perfectly baked muffin down my knicks.

It's not me, and it's not the undies I am wearing under the swimsuit, it's the swimsuit itself. I investigate it again. What is all this mularky on the underside? Understanding begins to dawn. No wonder I look slimmer. I appear to have bought it without noticing that it's actually a tummy control swimsuit, and what happens when one puts it on is that it squishes the upper tum, squishes the lower tum, down down down until the control stops and then

PLOOF!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

flemmings

Well, at least it wasn't a hernia?

smokingboot

No pushing this back in!

mallorys_camera

Major design flaw! I'm guessing that the UK is like the States in not letting you try on swimsuits before you buy them, so you wouldn't have noticed it.

We can generally try them but we are meant to keep undies on, and respect the little plastic hygeine strips in the crotch. But this was bought online anyway, possibly my first mistake! Fortunately returns are easy.

Smokingboot

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