The devil and all his works

[smokingboot]

Studied Gestalt therapy last night. Interesting. We worked with rocks. I am the Happy Whale.

This class is full of excellent people and some are becoming chums. One such gave me a present she'd been saving for me, something she said she would never use, it had been given to her and sat in a box for months; an Orange mobile phone. She is so kind, but this fills me with dread.

I have had a mobile phone before; you know what? These things are only good for when you are trapped down a mine or something, and the rescuers above can find you via the signal. Otherwise, they are just tags on you. Anyone can call you at any time, and they will. If your phone is switched off, you are to blame for them not being able to reach you. You miss calls and it feels like something terrible must have happened, cos hey, first they tried your landline then they tried your mobile. It must be important. God, it's horrid.

No-one talks on phones, I certainly can't. It's the lukewarm porridge of communication, OK for when there's no other way. Let's talk face to face, or let's write stuff down, both funky and accurate ways of expressing oneself. Let's use the phone for emergency chumship and quickfire arrangements. Much more civilised.

I had a vodaphone given to me by a friend most excellent, years ago. I believe it was a combination gift from several beloved chums, but she was the originator and most ardent supporter of the idea. For the first 12 months there was some kind of deal that saved me lots of money or something, I don't know, cos I mainly used the phone for calls from her saying 'Are you using the phone I gave you?' After that, it snowballed into a permanent drain on my account. 'You have to shop around for the right deal,' she would say, but I hate shopping and comparing savings and all that kind of stuff. I just couldn't be arsed. And Vodaphone were arses themselves to deal with. No, I was grateful when it ended.

And now it starts again.

The thing lies sleeping in its box down in the front room. I am ignoring it.

Comments

[delvy.livejournal.com]

I love talking on the phone. I can talk for hours and give as much to a conversation in that medium as in any other. I know that makes me unusual. Maybe it's something to do with having had several long term long distance relationships. Or maybe it's the other way round.

[wildwinter.livejournal.com]

I am not a 'phone person. I can count the number of lengthy 'phone conversations that I've actually enjoyed in my life on the fingers of one... err... thumb.

Sometimes - brainstorming - they can be useful. But otherwise it's pick-up-the-phone, get-the-business-done, put-down-the-phone - I'm not one for telephone pleasantries and meandering. It's the lack of face and gesture, I think...

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Well, OK, Russ and I were rescued by the phone when we were 200 miles apart... I guess if those conversations hadn't happened I wouldn't now be living at the old Cat&Peartree:-) but I find those situations the exception rather than the rule. Generally I'm hopeless with the damn thing!

[wildwinter.livejournal.com]

> It's the lack of face and gesture, I think...

But having said that, the written word is fine. How odd.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Don't get me going on the beauties of the written word. For me it is the one.

[november-girl.livejournal.com]

I like the telephone, just so long as I'm confident that the person I'm calling also does, and will definitely know who I am. I have a number of friends who I will quite happily call for a general natter and catch up because the miles keep us apart. The written word almost always bestows a lack of conversation and an encouragement of narrative, which is something of a double-edged sword. However, I rarely feel that I have really interacted with someone if I am simply writing or typing to them - for one thing I have no idea whether or not they have bothered to read it!

Studied Gestalt therapy last night.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

I sincerely hope that you get more than one night on it. I've done 4.5 years of it, and still learning...

Mobile phones are of much more limited use than the world currently seems to believe. I still don't have one. Resist.

I do however like talking no the phone when i am in the right mood.

Re: Studied Gestalt therapy last night.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

well, here is the devilry of it; This is a 10 week introductory course. Of those 10 weeks we spent three on 'contracting,' and then 2 on person centred therapy. Now, with this, the one which really has sparked my interest, we have one session plus a bit more before we spend one session on transactional therapy! What?

Re the phone *shudders* for me, there never is a right mood.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Interaction via the written word is a complex thing, I love it, but it certainly doesn't have the spontaneous power of face to face conversation.

The phone, I never know. It's good for the extremes, the immediate and the necessary. Beyond that, I tend to feel a bit awkward on it.

Pauses that aren't a problem in face to face, and don't really occur in the written form, can somehow seem glaring in significant on the phone; my irrational translation is 'God, is that it? Are we out of stuff to say?' Whereas in writing you just accept that the other person has gone for a coffee, and face to face you just sit in the moment...

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Text message haiku,
One hundred and sixty bytes
to carry my love.

Phones

[lucyas.livejournal.com]

I agree with what you say, but I find my phone invaluable for emergencies. I tell people I only use it for emergencies and that it is normally switched off, so not to use it just for a chat - but those times when I break down on the motorway in the middle of nowhere, at night when it is raining, and need to call the AA, it is wonderful. Oh and I always choose pay as you go, then I never get a bill.

[binidj.livejournal.com]

Perfect

Re: Phones

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Yes, for emergencies, it's definitely a plus, but for anythng else...

Pay as you go might be the sensible option. Chum said the sym(sp? I don't know!) is in there somewhere, but I have no clue what to do with it.

Re: Phones

[lucyas.livejournal.com]

If you go to a phone shop they should be able to help you. I wouldn't know how to take my phone apart either.

Re: Studied Gestalt therapy last night.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

Transactional Analysis focuses on transactions between people and the roles they take in those. So theories like the Persecutor/Victim/Onlooker Triangle and the Parent/Adult/Child options both come from there. It's an interesting relational theory.

I love Gestalt. Hopefully in a couple of years time I shall be an accreditted Gestalt Psychotherapist. Currently I'm a Gestalt Counsellor.

Re: Studied Gestalt therapy last night.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Didn't know that...go you!

Gestalt sparks me up, but our tutors are a bit ambivalent; Perls doesn't seem to have liked women much, and our tutors considered his methods powerful but perhaps counter-productive for the vulnerable. But I feel really drawn to the little I've seen of it. I would like to find out more.

Re: Studied Gestalt therapy last night.

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

Your tutors aren't aware of the fact that Perls was but one of the founders of Gestalt and by no means the best example? I much prefer the work of his wife frinstance. The developments in the field over the last thirty years have also changed a lot. It winds me up when people teach intro courses as if each approach was simply a collection of techniques, without looking at the underlying philosophy of the theories.

Re: Studied Gestalt therapy last night.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

The course seems well-intentioned, but I could do with something more structured and deeper in analysis. Certainly compared to this whole 'contracting' thing, the theories and techniques have suffered real time deficit. Now we are told to go away and read, but no reading list was given at the start of the course... tuesday night,we got a couple of names and books, but it's mid-term now!

I suppose this is because it really is just an introduction, to see who's up for more and who isn't. As I am very interested, it's a bit frustrating, though the course has stimulated my interest a lot.