Too many cures

There are many things you can do to make a certain time of month easier.

You could drink a glass of real ale or organic beer, which will help loosen your stomach muscles.
You could drink a cup of hot chocolate which does you no good but feels nice.
You could drink a cup of raspberry leaf tea which tastes disgusting but works on loosening cramps very effectively.

Or you could do what I did, and combine all of the above with a tv dinner and an argument with a close friend. The argument is sorted (do not panic if you read this, close friend!) but I appear to have induced a state of bewilderment into my gastro-intestinal tract. I feel sick, my stomach hurts, my head hurts, and despite everything being cool, some adrenalin hasn't left me, the room is spinning and I am tearful.

I am never going to feel like this again, not for a period, not for anything. From now on, no beer, no chocolate, only gentle herbal teas and honey.