Piscine Politics

Fer gawds sake.

So, no sooner have Rapido's offspring emerged, than we have new drama. Are aquariums really supposed to be like this? I mean, I thought they were just fish, calming, pretty to look at. Apparently not. Everything has personality. Lots of personality.

The most stunning fish in the aquarium is Rory Rumblefish aka Siamese Fighting Fish aka Betta Splendens. Afishonados* will tell you just never to keep these boys together cos they will kill each other, simple as that. Rory is magnificent and scarlet plus he built a bubblenest for eggs, which I destroyed before realising what it was - it just looked like dirty foam. Guilt forced me into buying two girlfriends for him. First he glowered hopelessly at them, now he ignores them. Maybe it was as cyanidemigraine suggested and he felt emasculated by his lack of bachelor pad. The girls meantime, are meant to be less aggressive than the boys. Ha ha ha.

It is said their aggression is kept for each other. Ha ha ha.
That they will work out their pecking order and be sorted. And the jokes just keep coming...

If anyone out there watches America's Next Top Model, you know there's always one mean girl who stalks the house going crazy, bullying all the others yet somehow always making it to the next round? Well, we have our finned equivalent. She hovers over the corydoras stealing their food. This morning she raced off with an algae wafer the size of her head. And she has attacked Rapido twice, the second time giving the poor snail's tentacle such a nip, I fear part of it may have come off - I haven't seen any evidence of the wound. But poor Rapido hid for the rest of the night.

I phoned the fish shop, where an expert shed light...'What you have there is a very healthy betta. They are meant to be curious predators full of personality.' The voice was slightly tinged with disapproval, as if the word personality actually means psychopathic disorder, and everyone except me knows that.

'Will she calm down?' I asked.

'That's unlikely. She's discovered that the snail is alive and a possible snack. All healthy fish look for food. She will probably just keep going for the snail until she tears something vital off, or the snail gets a bad wound and dies of a secondary infection. I would move your snail if I were you.'

The voice seems to think that there is no such thing as a one-off aquarium keeper. I keep fish, therefore I inevitably have a tank condo in my front room for just such occasions as these.

I am not moving Rapido, she's peaceful and happy. But I hate to move the girls cos they are too; and both have to go cos they look very similar to each other, so I have no way of guessing which one belongs in Bates motel.

The trouble with living things is that they are inevitably horrible.

*See what I did there?

Piscine Peace

...Thanks to my neighbour, who long ago offloaded multitudes of platties on to us, dull little fish that just roam around not doing very much except breeding. Vigorously. He has agreed to take the girls on, though of course, if they pursue and eat all his new fish, I may well have the demon daughters of the deep replonked on my doorstep. Still, at least Rapido is safe now, and the girls have a much more conscientious owner than I could ever claim to be.

Now to find some fish that can inhabit the tank without breeding/killing the others/being killed by the others.