Night at the Gin Palace

Sunday evening was spent in delightful company down Ilford way, where former inmates of the Athenaeum Club, caddyman and ellefurtle now sojourn. Our gathering was completed by the company of colonel_maxim and one other.

I had read so much about him. The first I saw was a small alien face scowling at me from the staircase. I noticed his huge eyes and ears, I noticed his pale peachy fuzz, I noticed his Joan Rivers neckscrag, and then we were formally introduced. This was young master JasperGollum.

I have never seen a Devon Rex before, different but I think rather charming...the scowling was soon explained. Gollum had evidently manifested earlier in the day, at the attempting of a bath. There were two scratched humans and one cat smelling of strawberry shampoo, so it's probably fair to call it a draw.

Jasper is a very sweet cat; his antics provided us lots of material with which to interrupt ourselves. He played, explored, and got stuck in high places while we talked about pondscum, Lord of the Rings and matters of state, and our hosts made us fine fud, a roast beef and yorkie dinner, followed by yeractual genuine chocolate blancmange. It was most excellent.

I went to sleep on the futon in the front room, only to feel a series of tiny paw pressures find me in the dark; Jasper is much smaller than my own cats, who gallumph across me like wargs on the mountains. Suddenly I had a kittynose in my face, and I felt my hair being chewed. I moved, the phantom face-hugger ran. And I slept, replete and happy. Major thanks to ellefurtle and caddyman for their perfect hospitality. I had a delicious evening!

Fear

So I have made another appointment for a blood test.

This has been hanging around for months. It'a about finding out if I am entering the menopause. Got no problems with that - never wanted kids, don't want them now - but I am very needle phobic. I have been getting better over the past couple of years, but I am still afraid. I have made an appointment to minimise waiting around, but I can already feel a fear starting. One has to fast for 10 hours beforehand, so it's not something you can just walk in and do; you have to be mindful.

Oh dear, I hate injections so much.

I have never had a blood test in my whole life, or at least, in my whole remembered life. My medical notes don't have records of a blood test, though I have been a vaccination/inoculation pincushion since I was very young. It's shocking that I have never given blood, but I just can't explain it. Injections hurt me, they really do, and I start to panic before I have one.

I am panicking now. Not a panic attack, or I couldn't write this. I am not one for such things. But I can feel a kind of weird bubbling in my stomach, a quiet nausea, and my eyes are beginning to fill with tears.

48 and never had a blood test, the doctor joked I must be very healthy. Truth is, I don't fall ill that much, and when I do, all I have to do is listen to my bod. If it says sleep I sleep, if it says eat I eat, if it says don't eat I don't eat. Sometimes stuff happens, but my body gets over it. I know I am lucky in that regard.

I would ignore this but I can't. My great-grandmother suffered from osteoporosis, and because I am small and thin (er...ish) the doc reckons it could be a possibility for me. And anyway, it's good to know what is going on.

Oh but I don't want to do this. The centre is always so crowded, from embarrassed STD patients to weary mothers with four or five children hanging off them like carrier bags full of scream. Nowhere for them to go, nowhere for me to hide.

I hate this whole thing so much. Tears and nausea have gone for now. Reckon some comforting soup and cheese will help sort this out.