The universal theory of everything

Violence, cannibalism, orgies...Avoid fish tanks at all costs, especially if you've got children.

Last night, right on the front glass where you couldn't fail to see it, Rapido got it on with Mr Pinky.

Don't know whether that means we are going to have pink snails, yellow snails, or knickerbocker glory snails. Physicists and mathematicians have long searched for a universal theory of everything. Here's mine:

Everything eats everything else. Everything wants to have sex with everything else. Sometimes both get combined, or maybe just confused. If God made this happen, God is seriously horny. If chance made this happen, chance needs to get laid and have a meal.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I honestly don't consider it a spectator's sport. Which is unfortunate cos it's everywhere all the time. I am almost ready for the discovery that Stonehenge was an early attempt at mineral mating.