The Counselor

The Counselor's about a West Texas lawyer who gets mixed up in a drugs deal.It's one of those films which should be a classic and isn't. However, it is memorable for depicting Cameron Diaz having sex with a Ferrari.


Here's how her partner Reiner [played by Javier Bardem] V.O's it:

"...So she goes around and climbs up on the hood of the Ferrari. And holds her dress up around her waist and spreads herself across the windshield in front of me. With no panties on. And she’s got this Brazilian wax job. Don’t, don’t even think I’m making this up – you can’t make this up. She was a dancer, so she does this full split, and then she starts running herself up and down on the glass, and she leans down, to see if I’m watching right now, as if I’m sitting there reading my email. And kisses me upside down and then she tells me this: I’m gonna come. I thought, well I’m losing my fucking mind, that’s what’s happening here. Really it was like one of those, one of those catfish things, you know, one of those bottom feeders you see going up the way of the aquarium sucking its way up the glass (makes popping sound with his mouth) Really it was ... hallucinatory. You see a thing like that, it changes you."

I'm sure it does. For a start you'd never stop to wash windscreens in El Paso. Hell, the cars would stay dusty til Texas was far behind.