Sep. 11th, 2016

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World Suicide Prevention Day yesterday.

I have lived with suicidal ideation from childhood, for various reasons and triggers; but in the end, each time it has turned up, I have ultimately rejected it courtesy of a  furious if unhinged sense of victimhood; because I thought my death would please someone else, an enemy, a family member, the world, whatever. In the end, my philosophy of survival is based on Fuck You I Won't Die.  Bloody minded bastards get to see beautiful places, and do beautiful things.Life can be very hard, but so worth it.

A friend  volunteered his time to help those in need yesterday, applause to one who would never seek it.   I wandered from the vets to my brother's house, passing the street where Terry Emmett once lived and the wind blew,the sun shone through a little rain,and I felt fine. Bro and I had a great morning's brunch, commenting on how life feels right now. It was a conversation full of happiness.

More work tomorrow,and then some puzzling stuff to work out, but I refuse to think about that now.

Next year's mega-hol will probably be Christmas in Oz, meaning that our other one will have to be cheap and cheerful, Europe most likely. There are lots of places to go, but  I am trying to find something interesting; two weeks on a beach would be very dull.

I like being a European. Might look into getting a Spanish (or Scottish if it comes to that) passport. We will see.

I do not help myself by inveterately checking out holidays in Rwanda/Uganda in search of Gorillas, or the Namibean desert, or even the Congo (Not Congo-Kinshasa, the other one) Thing is, [livejournal.com profile] larians speaks sense when he says we shouldn't do another safari straight away because ours was a very fortunate one. Experienced guests told us not to expect such closeness to perfection, so many sightings etc on other holidays, so the reasoning is that rather than try to brew up a repeat magic and possibly be disappointed,  next mega hol after the family one should be something totally different, Vietnam, Peru, Japan, something like that.

And in any case, Europe next year...but where?

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