Sleeper

Meeting night before last; didn't go. Haven't read the minutes.
Meeting last night: attended online, it was great, I was not. Haven't read the emails following. It's like I can't think. Whatever anything needs, I don't have it. Lack of sleep has deprived me of every talent except dropping things and walking into doors.

I am crotchety. I suddenly notice that everything hurts a lot of the time, not serious pain, just niggly pain. The tendon problem is back and worse, everything feels worse. Is it psychosomatic? Juicing up those greens, there's lemon on my hands, gets into scratches, stings more, damn, it stings much more! But why? And why suddenly is my back uncomfortable, my legs, my hips...I realise that with the exception of my head and neck, my entire body is in a state of discomfort. But do I feel like I'm in more pain because I am in a bad mood? Or is my bad mood because I am in more pain?

And suddenly I can see the bottom of the road where I used to live on Shooters Hill. You'd walk all the way down and there was a tiny little roundabout with trees and bushes in the middle leading off to other roads. Foxes used to live under there, I think. I would get to that roundabout and turn left, go down a hill then right into Woolwich for my sins, but I didn't see any of that, just the bottom of the road, looking up towards our house for a moment. Gone now.

This is not the ideal state to be in for going to collect at the drycleaners, but it has to be done. It may even wake me up.

I know Malta will be good, I just don't feel it yet. All I feel is this need to sleep, and I have stuff to do, I just can't avoid it. But neither can I concentrate.

I will say though, that Strange New Worlds is perfect for funk removal. It makes me smile the way Star Trek did when I was a kid, bouncing between Starfleet, Narnia, and Middle-Earth. I could watch the adventures of Captain Pike's improbable hair for days.



Right, now to be grown up and wake up and do.