Oct. 17th, 2024

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That was it really. Early in the first trimester I think. I was at a party, and my ex turned up in a jolly mood. This was cool because in my last dream of him over a year ago, he was uncharacteristically serious.( https://smokingboot.dreamwidth.org/1034172.html ) It was just before I got the bad news about the cancer. To this day I think my body/subconscious knew prior to the results that something was very wrong, and this unlikely sombre version of himself was the emissary of my backbrain. It's not as evident as one might expect, given that there was no discernible lump.

This time he was happy, ready to dance. But the party was in an upstairs room in a pub, and some little woman wanted lots of space for her own dancing, so he left. I couldn't dance and couldn't drink, what could I do? I found myself in a big kitchen trying to clean this massive sink area with a bizarrely localised flood problem. The leakage stopped a tile or so out from beneath the sink, and instead of spreading out across the floor, built up as if next to some invisible barrier. I can't recall how I cleaned it up, but I did.

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