Nailed

Mar. 21st, 2006 05:01 pm
smokingboot: (snail)
[personal profile] smokingboot
£428.60

That's the vets bill for Ralik, who is now home, purring and happy. I was going to fetch him tonight, but it was an odd day; I spent money to make my hands look presentable with a full set of acrylic nails. See, there is a nail code, and it used to go like this:

Gently oval nails = You are a European lady.
Nails squared off across the top = You are an American lady.
Short nails, french manicured = You are awfully clean.
Long blood red talons = You are nasty.
Any nails with chains looped through holes in the whites = You are alternative and slutty.
Big chunky hook nails in any shade of yellow = You are undead.
Any nails in black = You are over.
Short nails with long thumbnail: You think you can play the guitar.
Short nails with long pinkynail: You probably excavate orifices with that.
Big chunky hook nails with designs/gems/patterns = You are a chavette.

By this classic code I am a clean European demi-chavette; the nails are short enough so that if I lose one it won't all look ridiculous...except for one small thing. The offer was of free gemstones with each full set, so I now have a 'diamond' daisy design on one of my nails. It may not be the classiest thing I have ever done, but it's so cute! Surya obviously didn't approve, cos for the first time ever she got me with her claws. All that effort and I have a scratch across my fingers. So I gave up on work, and brought Ralik home, to give her someone else to bug. Let's hope interview success doesn't ride on me having pretty hands...

He is better. That's what counts.

Date: 2006-03-21 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jennifermc.livejournal.com
Glad to know kitty is alright and safe at home.

Do you think the nails will survive till the end of the month?

Date: 2006-03-21 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
I'll be surprised if they survive my shower tomorrow morning - I'm just woefully clumsy. If they can make it past Thursday I will be utterly gobsmacked.

Date: 2006-03-21 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] squeezypaws.livejournal.com
Hooray for perkier puss and lovely lady nails! I used to love my nail extensions, lived in them for two years or so. I loved them. I have always hankered after airbrushed designs myself which I think are a bit chav at best.

Date: 2006-03-21 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
Chavic but so pretty, and such fun! Maybe we can persuade Anita to let us do funky nails for the wedding:-)

Date: 2006-03-21 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] november-girl.livejournal.com
So the two main requests from the bridesmaids thus far are PVC stiletto slut shoes and airbrushed nails? I'm not entirely comfortable with what that says!

Actually I was going to suggest...

Date: 2006-03-22 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
instead of flowers or tiaras, fashion bindis/temporary tattoos across our foreheads, innit?

Date: 2006-03-22 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bytepilot.livejournal.com
To which the only possible reply is Gif Gif!

and to blow kisses northwards so they can carry a piece of ceremonial chasing string for a certain furry trouble beast.

Date: 2006-03-22 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] larians.livejournal.com
Gets my vote! :)

Date: 2006-03-21 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caffeine-fairy.livejournal.com
Really please to hear you have a functional furball.

Thanks

Date: 2006-03-21 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
Me too, though I still haven't worked out what his function is!

Date: 2006-03-21 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] november-girl.livejournal.com
I'm so glad Ralik's home.

All my love, an obviously nasty European lady

Date: 2006-03-22 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
*Grins*

The demonlord sends his glowering thanks!

demi-chavette

Date: 2006-03-21 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-lore.livejournal.com
Hurrah ... I'm glad you're back little Ralik...

Nails sound wonderful, and for the job you are going for I don't think having a demi-chavette set of nails is a bad twist.

Sorry to hear about the scratch, how long to the interview?

Hopefully speak soon, all i seem to do is work at the moment :(

Re: demi-chavette

Date: 2006-03-22 08:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smokingboot.livejournal.com
Time till interview = 2 days. I will just have to cover the scratch with concealer, one of those gunky thick ones that you can use to plaster walls...

Hope to catch up soon. Have you joined any communities yet?:-)

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