smokingboot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smokingboot) wrote2006-06-06 07:38 am
smokingboot) wrote2006-06-06 07:38 am
Drained
Well, I was a bloody awful hostess last night.
Oh I didn't swing naked from the chandelier singing expletives at my guests whilst yoinking the good china out of their grasp with my prehensile toes; that at least would have been interesting. No, I just sat there useless and tired, enjoying their company but unable to contribute at all. Thankfully they made teas and stuff and carried the evening, but it is frustrating to be such a drag.
At some stage yesterday I muddled Ralik's special 'anti-cystitis' food with Surya's regular stuff; I never do things like that, I'm aware with the beasties. There's stuff to be done, packing, etc and of course, my old not-quite-abandoned job to attend to, this afternoon.Tonight I travel again, not back til Monday, missing Maelstrom. I am sitting here staring at the screen, can't be bothered to finish my coffee.
Man, I am more than tired.
Of course it could be the stress of new job and much travel, but...there's no getting past it...I don't feel this sense of exhaustion in London. There's a time for everything I guess. The birdsong outside reminds me that this place has been really good for me in its time, and just as I got sick of London and needed a change, so I need a change from here now, not because of any deficiency in place or people but because of my own requirements. Much as I like the idea of having a cat as my totem, it doesn't fit; cats need their same old territory and freak when they lose it. I'm a birdy really - a new nest every Spring suits me fine.
The I Ching, chronicle of venerable Chinese wisdom tells us how to cope with these feelings:
Hexagram 47:
There is no water in the lake
The image of EXHAUSTION
The superior man (meaning anyone who's smart) stakes his life
on following his will.
Which I presume means that when you are drained and feel you have nothing left, you find something that really matters to you and follow it through. Sound advice I would certainly follow...if I wasn't too knackered.
Edited to add I have just remembered last night's dream in which some kind of Madonna(not madge)/ rag doll figure with long purple hair was supposed to be nailed to a cross, though it didn't look at all grotesque - the whole thing was a blue and purple mediterranean style mosaic, very pretty, and she didn't look unhappy at all.
Oh I didn't swing naked from the chandelier singing expletives at my guests whilst yoinking the good china out of their grasp with my prehensile toes; that at least would have been interesting. No, I just sat there useless and tired, enjoying their company but unable to contribute at all. Thankfully they made teas and stuff and carried the evening, but it is frustrating to be such a drag.
At some stage yesterday I muddled Ralik's special 'anti-cystitis' food with Surya's regular stuff; I never do things like that, I'm aware with the beasties. There's stuff to be done, packing, etc and of course, my old not-quite-abandoned job to attend to, this afternoon.Tonight I travel again, not back til Monday, missing Maelstrom. I am sitting here staring at the screen, can't be bothered to finish my coffee.
Man, I am more than tired.
Of course it could be the stress of new job and much travel, but...there's no getting past it...I don't feel this sense of exhaustion in London. There's a time for everything I guess. The birdsong outside reminds me that this place has been really good for me in its time, and just as I got sick of London and needed a change, so I need a change from here now, not because of any deficiency in place or people but because of my own requirements. Much as I like the idea of having a cat as my totem, it doesn't fit; cats need their same old territory and freak when they lose it. I'm a birdy really - a new nest every Spring suits me fine.
The I Ching, chronicle of venerable Chinese wisdom tells us how to cope with these feelings:
Hexagram 47:
There is no water in the lake
The image of EXHAUSTION
The superior man (meaning anyone who's smart) stakes his life
on following his will.
Which I presume means that when you are drained and feel you have nothing left, you find something that really matters to you and follow it through. Sound advice I would certainly follow...if I wasn't too knackered.
Edited to add I have just remembered last night's dream in which some kind of Madonna(not madge)/ rag doll figure with long purple hair was supposed to be nailed to a cross, though it didn't look at all grotesque - the whole thing was a blue and purple mediterranean style mosaic, very pretty, and she didn't look unhappy at all.
no subject
The bald eagles in the park have two regular nests; some years they use the one, and other years they use the spare. These days they're too old to use either, although a young eagle flew past my window this afternoon, so perhaps a new generation has taken up residence. Or maybe she was just visiting.
no subject
And something else you have written makes me smile too...
no subject
no subject
But we must somehow bully our calenders into submission and get together soon!
no subject
But there must be some way we can meet up - even if we just got out for a meal together one evening.
Are either of you at the Moots?
no subject
But an evening meal sounds like a great idea too:-)
no subject
We could do monday, tuesday, thursday or friday next week (12th-16th).
Mon 19th
Or sometime in July!
no subject
no subject
no subject
July it is!
no subject
(snulgge)
*grins*
Re: *grins*
When is good for you Oh most mouthwatering of Boots ?
no subject
If this helps your social posibilities, drop us a line.
no subject