Murderland

[smokingboot]

So the good news is, I've found that story kick I needed. And the bad news is I am in an abattoir. It's insane!

More dead birds. First this morning, a terrible scream from the top of the stairs, I rush up and find little she-cat with a victim; birdy is clearly losing life, so much so, Surya lets me have it, she couldn't care less. Poor thing, its life trickling out of it, feeling it, thinking how horrible to die with some stinking thing holding you, so I left it on the windowsill for the last few seconds, dying in sunlight. Just now another squawk, this time more alive, more indignant, I rush downstairs to see both my monsters prowling with intent around the shoe rack. Sure enough, a young starling, furious but able to fly. I grabbed it and put it at the window where it has shot off, doubtless to die of shock in some hedge.

I can't write! It's carnage! I love my cats, get that they are murdering mofos and that's just the way they are, but I remember them as inadequate bug hunters, how did they become this expert in butchery? Did the birds just get stupid? Or is there one particularly evolution-unworthy starling mama who's chosen to nest in the catfood cupboard?

Add to this, the utterly beautiful 'Sweetest Thing' by Refugee Camp Allstars and Lauryn Hill, and I am nearly in tears.

Comments

[cyanidemigraine.livejournal.com]

ah, the circle of life

:D


*hugs*

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Nature is a psychopathic bastard. If it wasn't so good looking, I'd try to ignore it.

*Appreciates hug and doesn't cry*

[jennifermc.livejournal.com]

It's what cats are designed to do I'm afraid. Short of locking them in the house permanently you can't stop them hunting. However, you can, with a little effort and discipline, train them to not bring their kills home. This may at least allow you to pretend they're cute inadequate bug hunters.

PS hi!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Hi there! Great to hear from you:-)

I have no clue how to train the terrible two! For a while, the mere fact that we would take away all prey brought into the house worked as a deterrent; she at least would try to grab them again and rush off outside. Now, even that doesn't work. If you have any tips I'll be glad to learn!

[jennifermc.livejournal.com]

I've never done it and cats are notoriously hard to train out of natural behaviour but I have heard of it being done. Essentially cats bring home kills for two reasons - the first is a kind of "Look mam! I can catch me own dinner!" which is usually the reason young cats start bringing in kills (and the reason my Dad woke up once to find a dead mouse on his head *shudder*). The second is that they are bringing them as gifts for you either as a sign of respect or because they think you need feeding.

Unfortunately, I don't think the usual method of attempting this is going to be easy for you. What you have to do is take the kill from the cats and throw it in the bin as quickly as possibly. No fussing it or checking if it's alive. While you do this you have to let the cats know they done bad. Speak in a hard, disapproving tone. Some cats respond well to loud claps as an admonishment. Once the bird is disposed of you have to walk away from the cats and not talk to them or interact with them. The idea is to get it into their heads that their gifts are not wanted. Tough I know, but the only other option I can think of is to stop them getting in the house without you opening the door for them - hence letting you check for prey.

[jennifermc.livejournal.com]

Oh, and you have to make eye contact with the cats while telling them off. It asserts your position as top cat.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this, it's very interesting. I confess, I didn't think of it being a show-off/respect thing - certainly they used to do that when they were kittens, and even recently, Ralik came in making a clanging mew, desperate to show off the feather he had caught - but I thought it was more a convenience thing. She seldom brings stuff in to either of us unless it's dead already. I think she brings it in because she feels safe here, and no other predator will take it away. But then we take it away, so that makes no sense!

I'll take what you say on board and see if it's possible to put it into action. Hope all's well with you and Smudge!

[ravenrigan.livejournal.com]

I heard another variant of this that used to work on Isis, and works on Maeve. Again you take the kill away, but instead of scolding (which cat brain can interpret as "oh boy, boss cat wasn't impressed with that little bird so next time I'll have to try harder and bring in more/bigger prey" and then you're into rat, squirrel or pigeon territory which is truly gross) You make a big fuss of them say thank you very much and accept the bird graciously.

Cat feels it's made its point, and keeps its kills to itself, until the next time it feels it's displeased you and it needs to make a peace offering, or you have somehow failed its expectations and it needs to make a point.

I suspect that which strategy you use varies from cat to cat, depending on the individual cat's motivation for bringing you its kill.

I flush the dead uns down the loo. Live-uns I tend to take outside and put somewhere as safe as possible, then shut the cat flap and keep cats inside for a bit. Just occasionally when they are really badly injured and suffering I dispatch them myself, which is truly horrible, but better than the hours of fear and pain, and being vulnerable to the next predator.

It's also worse at this time of year, and I think there is something vaguely Darwinian about it, especially with Birds. Inexperienced, weak or sick birds, or those that try to fledge too early get got, the ones that survive grow up to run rings around the cat....

You want to see the look of sheer frustration on Macha's face when faced with anything bigger than an adult starling. And we've got wood pigeons. I look on crows and wood pigeons as the avengers of all birds on the catspecies. Just by existing.

Mice are another story. Personally, I am very happy that both my cats are good mousers, as it means I don't have to be. They enjoy it, I don't and we get a comparatively mouse free home.

Me and the cats are in perfect agreement on the subject of mice in the house, we just have different ways of achieveing the same end result.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this, it's a different take on how to manage the situation, though as far as I can tell, actually taking the prey away for good brings much dismay to the countenances of my meat deliverers! They eat their prey, stem to stern, all except the stomachs which they leave on the carpet to be discovered over the course of months.

Fully get the big bird/cat situation; once she tried to go after 3 magpies, racing along the fence after them, and they teased her to bits, surrounding her, cawing...I hung around to make sure they didn't mob her. Haven't seen her go after anything quite so out of her league since!

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Tiny Cat simply can't tell the difference between false toy mice and real mice, she brings them in entirely unharmed and puts them with her toys. Then she gets all exited when they run away again. Fortunately she can be distracted by throwing a false mouse in her general direction, allowing us to shepherd the poor squeaker out into the big wide world again.

Lenny on the other hand got the idea very fast, he came in with a dead mouse, spat it into his food bowl and was rather shocked to be tucked under one arm and both himself and the bowl deposited at the far end of the garden.
You could almost see the thought process running through his fluffy head.
"Sit up straight at dinner time, Treat food in one room, Tasty biscuits in another, How was I to know you only serve mice outdoors. Manners are tricky for poor Len..."

Still not managed to train them out of treading on my head in the night.

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Nor shall you ever, my dear duke. They are merely doing their duty in softening your brain for the trials of the day ahead...

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Mmmm spicy soft braaaain....

(hugs)
Also Sushi ?

Mmmm

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Do you know, I'm off sushi somewhat. Fancy having something very different indeed...

Re: Mmmm

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Steak ?
Cold cherry soup ?

[cat-that-walks.livejournal.com]

The first mistake is having a cat flap...

Cat flap?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

No such luxury here, I'll have you know! Tis an open window; come the late night it closes and they stay in, like good kitties. Morning comes, I open the window and they wreak their rewengee!

Re: Cat flap?

[cat-that-walks.livejournal.com]

Same thing. If instead you make them go through a door like a normal person then you can hear whether they have something in their mouths or not.