Ph33r, Pholly and Phairies

[smokingboot]

I am scared.

Once upon a time, way back in the 90s there was Talking Stick, a series of lectures hosted by pagans about alternative subjects. A quarterly mag came out with it, full of funky magical stuff. I subscribed to the mag, went to the pub and cheered the mighty speakers, and just generally enjoyed the pagan spiritual renaissance that was early 90s London.

It was wonderful.

But the pagans running it gave up, and Talking Stick became Secret Chiefs which had a row with The Moot with No Name, and as any scene will, splinters became daggers, factions formed, people got bored, did other stuff... it faded.

Now one of the chums who ran the original recently suggested to me over a few cocktails that I do a talk for Talking Stick's successor, Secret Chiefs. I agreed. I really need to shut my mouth in the presence of mojitos.

It would be about fairy lore of course, and I will refer back to my novel, cos it's all there. But what then?

I can talk about the movement in reverse, from 20th century eco-guardian to Victorian nursery playmate come wet dream, I can shift it back through the ages until we find the Lost People/Inexplicable Events/Fear of the Outsider-who-is-actually-Inside. Too sociological? or I could keep it magical, keep it pagan. But I don't know my audience any more so I don't know how to target my talk. Which of the many fairy identities am I talking about? And more to the point, Why? What does it matter?

I have changed since those days. Once upon a time, the story itself was enough of a why. Not now, not quite. Something has changed in me. It's natural but I am alarmed somewhat by this knowledge, cos I never felt it happen. It's like discovering my hair changed colour in my sleep. As ever, I am a thing of shreds and patches, full of brilliant bits that culminate in unintelligible cobweb, justified by its own prettiness and an internal pattern a few enjoy greatly. If my audience is, what, 5? 20? of the old crowd, doubtless I can get away with it. But I don't know these people any more, it's been a long time, someone somewhere might be expecting a conclusion from me. And God/dess help me if I find myself in a crowded pub full of intelligent strangers expecting something special.

I feel the pressure to make this a good lecture, and don't know if I can. The info is here, I know it off by heart, but what to do with it?

I am a bloody idiot for ever saying I would do this.

Comments

[pengshui-master.livejournal.com]

Oh, ravenrigan and I are going to to
Consequences