The Carry Case

[smokingboot]

I've had some wonderful birthday treats in my time. This year will be slightly different.



One of my cousins in Spain has chosen to marry this coming Saturday and larians and I will be attending the wedding. My birthday is the day before. So if I am lucky, I get to wander round this place:

And if I am unlucky, I spend the night with the family. Would you like a cousin, nephew or niece? Cos I have dozens and can't remember them all, so feel free to ask for a donation. It may be small but just remember everything's relative. Ba-doom-poom-chh!

It could be worse; my father's side of the family will be absent so there is some hope of rationality - not much, but I'll settle for any - and my lovely aunt has arranged a hotel for me and larians in the middle of Granada with, and I quote, 'all the young people' by whom she means everyone in the family under 60.

And of course, I will be catching up with Mum for the first time in years. Aunt and Mum are having a slight contratemps; Mum takes a carry case with her everywhere and Aunt thinks it looks weird. Aunt says the thing that stops people suspecting Mum of being a baglady is that she is always turned out impeccably, but she says they still roll their eyes and laugh when she's gone. I hear that and it makes me want to smash heads.

There's certainly lots wrong with Britain, but at least there's some tradition of tolerating personal eccentricity, as opposed to what seems to me like a strange pre-war Iberian orthodoxy; but maybe it's not the peninsula, maybe it's my aunt. Hard to judge, cos I love my aunt, she's groovy, but when she thinks she's right she's unstoppable...a bit like my mother. Aunt says the case must not make an appearance at the wedding, Mum says where she goes the carry case goes, and if the carry case can't come to the wedding, neither can she. Bear in mind, this aunt is not the mother of the bride, but she is the eldest, most influential and respected member of the family. No-one has asked the bride if she gives a damn about the carry case.

You may well wonder what's in the carry case that's so important. Aunt says it's full of plastic and papers, but the family legends tell otherwise. They say Mum carries that case everywhere and never lets it go because it's got my father's head in it.

Comments

[hybridartifacts.livejournal.com]

Well...it's different...
I always think its best to accept peoples eccentricities-but you are right, that is a very English attitude.

I hope the dilemma gets solved!

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

I think the best solution is for me to be as far away from it as possible!

[hybridartifacts.livejournal.com]

You are probably right. Being a spare wheel in a dispute is never a good idea.

Head in a box...

[caddyman.livejournal.com]

The question is, which of them is right..?

Re: Head in a box...

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

My aunt claims my mother has a plastic sheet in there, which she makes a nest out of and sleeps in every night. I will blend the two and create a story about mum carrying a plastic head to replace her own if it ever explodes...

but I aint checking!

Re: Head in a box...

[jfs.livejournal.com]

Schrodinger's Head?

Can't be, someone else has got it

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Re: Can't be, someone else has got it

[jfs.livejournal.com]

You sure?

That looks like Blakey, from On the Buses to me.

A man of many talents

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Physicist, bus conductor and of course, in his younger days;



but at which point did he enter the carry case, if indeed he did?

Re: Can't be, someone else has got it

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

PS Is it wrong to find him curiously attractive?

Re: Can't be, someone else has got it

[jfs.livejournal.com]

I'd have been worried if you'd found him devastatingly attractive, but curiously so?

No - I'm still worried.

Re: Can't be, someone else has got it

[sixtine.livejournal.com]

yes. Very wrong.

Re: Can't be, someone else has got it

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Like his trousers!

[croak108.livejournal.com]

. Well HBD tHen! THou hazz the same BD azz mygh 1st dance-teacher.
. The head in the carryh-case is in fact Baphomet; the plastic sheet is only tu keep it clean. Oy already, if the Inquhisition find it, ye will learn what yntolerance is! ::Much:: safer tu leave it in England.
. BTW what thinketh thou of the rumor tHat the head of StPaul is hidden under the Devereux Arms?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

In truth, the head goeth always with her, and unto her it speaketh, though with muffled voice, hidden beneath Leonardine sketches of Mary Magdalene in her home in St Tropez. The voice demandeth she seek out a mason, usually Perry Mason. But mother, as the last of the Templar ufonauts, heareth not such words and would call us a pair of nutters for thinking such a thing.

Regarding the head of St Paul and its final resting place, methinks we finally have an explanation for the beer's unique flavour Xxx

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute! Does that make me Baphomet's daughter?

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Ah,

Actually that makes a lot of sense...

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

More so since Spain. No horns yet though...

[bytepilot.livejournal.com]

Just a matter of time sweetheart, the horns will come, also the wings and the hovering crown of fire.

The fine boobage you have already.

(snuggles)

[croak108.livejournal.com]

. Baphomet's step-daughter at the moast.
. How duzz StPaul manage tu piss in the beer if only his head is preserv'd?

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

Well he is a street after all, a London street. They're inevitably full of piss, especially in Summer...

[croak108.livejournal.com]

Soe the head of a London street ys buryh'd under the pub. Hmm per:haps his bladder is tHere azz well. Per:haps he headed for the pub tHen got bladdered.