A little misery

[smokingboot]

Ralik our little boy cat has gone.

It's day 11. New area, I think he just went out to have a reccy...hasn't come back. He's collared, microchipped, and now famous in the area as I have canvassed, put flyers on trees and lamp-posts and through doors, contacted the council, the local vets, the local charities...unfortunately the world is full of black cats with silver collars (local Tescos sells them), and one in particular keeps being identified as our hero. That cat is beginning to fear me. Every time it rests in a local garden, I magically appear and disturb it with my desperate coaxings. I keep hoping it will turn out to be him, and indeed it could be his twin...but it doesn't know me, and the collar is different. larians is being strong as ever, but our feelings can well be imagined. Any catpeople out there, please send your thoughts Ralik's way, cos we love him.

Things have been a bit tough recent. The move was intense of course, and then came Maelstrom, at which I couldn't stay due to a meeting which then got postponed.

I am having issues, definitely with Maelstrom and perhaps with all LARP. One should never feel one has to be 'braced' for an event. There should be room to relax. There isn't because everything aimed at the group from out of the white tent has a clumsy, badly executed WTF element to it. It's like working on a brief from the Knights Who Say Ni. I think it is all right for things to seem incomprehensible if you know there is reasoning behind it, but this keeps being a reassurance without proof. I need to know that things make sense, I need consistent worlds/politics/mythologies to keep my suspension of disbelief going...or else I get going. I have great affection for those who own this game, I recall its fantastic beginnings and want it to do well. But the system relies very heavily on one's trust that it is being run consistently, despite all evidence to the contrary, and my trust runs out/has run out. As a player, I need the world to make sense to me. Not all of it, but the basic tenets of it. Or I'll get back to the real world which is actually more fun, more rewarding and less muddy.


Or perhaps I am just very tired and disheartened. The move, a little exzema, the cat, the naff event, work and of course, the issue I mentioned to a few of you a few posts back, everything has just got on top of me. I can't focus and I really need to.

So, after this miserable post I start again.