Good Friday

[smokingboot]

So, if all events are parallel and on some level everything is happening at the same time...it's all going to hell for Jesus right now. The last supper has led to a night in the Garden of Gethsemane (?} and Christ's request to God that this cup be taken from him has gone unanswered. Guards have come for him, there's been a fight and sometime soon is sometime very soon.


I am not a Catholic, though my father was - when young, my father studied to be a priest and passed his exorcism exams. He surrendered his ecclesiastical aspirations on watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; 'I never knew such underwear existed in the world' was his quote, 'And it finished me.'

I had a dream in my early teens; in my dream I woke to find stigmata wounds on my hands. I then truly woke to find I had pins and needles in said hands. It didn't happen at a holy time, nor a particularly traumatic time in my own life. I never made sense of it, and indeed, have only just remembered it.

Today then, after rout and betrayal and a knowledge of the worst coming to pass...the man I can see and feel for, the perfect/ paraclete I cannot understand. If Christ is unsullied, man without Original Sin, how can he understand what it is to be human and what is the point of undergoing this whole ordeal?

But then Original Sin has me baffled anyway. I just don't know what it is. If it is the ability to make choices and therefore wrong ones, Christ must have it or what happens today and tomorrow has no meaning at all - he is purely directed and obedient because he has to be. If it is some hereditary evil that belongs to every child of Adam and he doesn't have it because he is of a different race, then he has already entered the game of Earth more free and joyful than all those humans marked for a sin they never made, and he can never really know what it is to be human, though that doesn't mean he feels pain any less.

Whether he is the Lamb of God or the Son or Man, it is still so pitiful. Do I believe? In the neverending story of innocence and innocents framed and betrayed yes. In God's great plan to send his emissary to earth, demonstrate that things can go wrong for him too, and that the Divine can put his only begotten son through the same monstrous mess he made for Job...well, that's a God too weird and complicated for me.

Arguments fall away, because none of it makes sense and faith demands that sense is something we can't have and shouldn't need, not because the story is gibberish, but because it is greater than we can understand. But it was a story God supposedly put into action to save us and teach us. So why make it incomprehensible?

Moving to the Man Jesus, in whatever form he existed. Praying among the trees. Did he ever envision Rome, and magnificence, and crusades in the passing down of his words, did he see prophecies and wealth and the mafia and paedophilia, did he for one moment dream of sanctuaries and hospitals, schools in his name, words in languages far from his own? Is he seeing it now?

If I could speak to him today, I surely would, though it's pointless unless he speaks back. Respect for his wounds, respect for all those trapped and hurt for no good reason. Gethsemane and Golgotha...Jesus, Jesus, leave the garden early, run from the guards,save Judas by chucking him, get out of town. You came to be human, be human, and when it comes to your dad's issues, let him sort those out. He could have risen us all from the dead at any time. No need for this terrible drama.

Amen.

Comments

[smokingboot.livejournal.com]

No, I have never heard it before, and yes, it breaks me too. Thank you so much for posting it.

Love and Joy to you, Gray and Julia xxx