Once more unto the breach
Jan. 18th, 2011 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootSometimes I wonder if whining has its own special magic. Prepared for a gruelling wait at the Drs I nearly died of shock when I was ushered into surgery bang on 3.20 - my actual appointment time.
It's like I wandered into a parallel universe entirely like this one with some tiny tiny differences.
Now my sickness has a name:'Bronchitis.' As the antibis worked before, they are prescribed again, with added codeine linctus to give my torso a chance to recover from 2 months of hacking coughs. And then there's the other thing...
I've been missing periods recently, and last year I had loads of hot flushes, so chances are that I am menopausal or at least approaching it. My doctor has had problems accepting this. When I told him my symptoms, he asked me if I could be pregnant. When I told him at my last appointment that my chest was hurting, he asked me again. I told him it was because I was coughing, he stared at me with young mad eyes. He just cannot believe that I am not pregnant this year, that I was not pregnant last year, that I will not be pregnant next year. It is beyond him. Finally he conceded that the possibility of non-pregnancy did exist, and he gave me a piece of paper to take to some place to get a blood test, cos they don't do that at GP surgeries any more. He was very specific. I had to go on the second day of my next period, having fasted the night before.
I went, the place was full of STD patients and vast families all crowded into rooms with people waving hypodermics. Turned out they couldn't do the test cos I had eaten three cherries and it would upset the results. So I went home, and lost the paper.
Told this to the doc today. She stared at me. 'Why did he want you to test on the second day?' she said, 'Are you trying for a baby?'
'No!' God, what is wrong with these people? 'I don't know why. He said levels of something would be highest then.'
She shook her head. Gave me papers. Gave me prescriptions. Got me out.
This may well have been the best GP appointment I can remember...provided a)these damn pills work, and b) I'm not pregnant.
It's like I wandered into a parallel universe entirely like this one with some tiny tiny differences.
Now my sickness has a name:'Bronchitis.' As the antibis worked before, they are prescribed again, with added codeine linctus to give my torso a chance to recover from 2 months of hacking coughs. And then there's the other thing...
I've been missing periods recently, and last year I had loads of hot flushes, so chances are that I am menopausal or at least approaching it. My doctor has had problems accepting this. When I told him my symptoms, he asked me if I could be pregnant. When I told him at my last appointment that my chest was hurting, he asked me again. I told him it was because I was coughing, he stared at me with young mad eyes. He just cannot believe that I am not pregnant this year, that I was not pregnant last year, that I will not be pregnant next year. It is beyond him. Finally he conceded that the possibility of non-pregnancy did exist, and he gave me a piece of paper to take to some place to get a blood test, cos they don't do that at GP surgeries any more. He was very specific. I had to go on the second day of my next period, having fasted the night before.
I went, the place was full of STD patients and vast families all crowded into rooms with people waving hypodermics. Turned out they couldn't do the test cos I had eaten three cherries and it would upset the results. So I went home, and lost the paper.
Told this to the doc today. She stared at me. 'Why did he want you to test on the second day?' she said, 'Are you trying for a baby?'
'No!' God, what is wrong with these people? 'I don't know why. He said levels of something would be highest then.'
She shook her head. Gave me papers. Gave me prescriptions. Got me out.
This may well have been the best GP appointment I can remember...provided a)these damn pills work, and b) I'm not pregnant.
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no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 05:26 pm (UTC)Hope she restores a little of your faith. She sounds very sensible :)
Take it as a compliment
Date: 2011-01-18 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 10:52 pm (UTC)1) Your doctor was giving you a saucy wink and is a recent divorcee or
2) You are being targetted by a group of sacred Gaia devotees that believe that the sacrifice of your child is the only way to counter-act the apocolypse of Christmas 2012
no subject
Date: 2011-01-18 11:12 pm (UTC)Either that or he's a tosser... :o)
no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 01:11 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Date: 2011-01-19 01:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 01:17 pm (UTC)"Chest hurts? Coughing doesn't make ladychests hurt, babies make ladychests hurt. Coughing? Sickness doesn't cause coughing, babies make coughing.' It's like the Bluffer's Guide To Doctoring: When a woman gets a pain in her upper torso, always check for a small human hanging off her teats.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-19 10:24 pm (UTC)If you're actually worried about b) I think I still have the unused second pregnancy test stick.
no subject
Date: 2011-01-20 09:59 am (UTC)Though riding a mammoth would be very cool...