Distraught
Apr. 3rd, 2012 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootGod help me, I am about to scream or shout or something terrible, so scared. Less than 10 minutes ago something happened. I just spoke to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
larians, I should be calm but I'm not, I'm not.
There was a knock on my door. I called out down the stairs and a male voice told me he just wanted to talk to me. I went to the door but didn't open it. He really wanted me to.
He told me he wanted to talk to me about the recent incident at the house. Christ, my stomach is churning. He explained to me that he had been arrested the night it happened, 'But it weren't me,' he said, 'They didn't oughter 'rest me, I don't do that sort of thing, not like that little...'
I explained I was sorry he had been arrested on my account. 'I wanted to tell you,' He said, 'I don't do that sort of thing. Anyways, I ran into the bloke who did it in jail, him claiming he was off his head on pills and such like. And I can tell you, he's had such a kicking in there!'
Oh God.
I explained that though the guy is a bad man, I don't want him to get a kicking.
'Well, it ain't much of a kicking,' the gentleman told me, 'Nothing for you to worry about. But he has had a kicking, I tell you! We don't do that sort of thing.'
We? Who is this we? How many of you know where I live, and can just pop round in the middle of the day for a chat? The police won't have told this visitor my address...the only way he can have known is if the man told him, or if he was nearby and spotted the police cars that night. He says he bumped into the man in prison, having been arrested for the same crime? Really? It's just insane. And there's a way, an easy spyable way around the back of this house. If I had the back door open, anyone could come in. The security is sh*te, Terrence knows this and anyone he tells will know it too.
Oh end, end, end, why won't this stupid thing end?
I try to be calm, try to think of our wonderful weekend in Stroud withvelvet_the_cat and Dan sans lj, I run around this house like a whippet on a wheel. But all I can think is of being known, this house not being safe, and of the man being beaten in prison. Kicked. Holy Christ, this life! Do I go out, do I stay in, do I tell the police? My visitor may have been innocent, just giving me a well-meaning message from the criminal fraternity. He might have been Terrence's best mate. He might have been casing the house. He might be mad or drunk or on something. I don't know.
I sweet-talked the man away. Now I sit here, too confused to cry.
Edited to add So after talking to Victim Support, I emailed the detective in charge of the case. He says he thinks he knows who it is and will go have a word. This makes me feel bad in case the visitor's intentions were unicorn pure; in my paranoid moments, I am afraid he will hold a grudge and hang around till I go out, then come in and do something horrible.
I want to move away. But where? There is no option right now.
Sick, ever so sick of this.
larians, I should be calm but I'm not, I'm not.There was a knock on my door. I called out down the stairs and a male voice told me he just wanted to talk to me. I went to the door but didn't open it. He really wanted me to.
He told me he wanted to talk to me about the recent incident at the house. Christ, my stomach is churning. He explained to me that he had been arrested the night it happened, 'But it weren't me,' he said, 'They didn't oughter 'rest me, I don't do that sort of thing, not like that little...'
I explained I was sorry he had been arrested on my account. 'I wanted to tell you,' He said, 'I don't do that sort of thing. Anyways, I ran into the bloke who did it in jail, him claiming he was off his head on pills and such like. And I can tell you, he's had such a kicking in there!'
Oh God.
I explained that though the guy is a bad man, I don't want him to get a kicking.
'Well, it ain't much of a kicking,' the gentleman told me, 'Nothing for you to worry about. But he has had a kicking, I tell you! We don't do that sort of thing.'
We? Who is this we? How many of you know where I live, and can just pop round in the middle of the day for a chat? The police won't have told this visitor my address...the only way he can have known is if the man told him, or if he was nearby and spotted the police cars that night. He says he bumped into the man in prison, having been arrested for the same crime? Really? It's just insane. And there's a way, an easy spyable way around the back of this house. If I had the back door open, anyone could come in. The security is sh*te, Terrence knows this and anyone he tells will know it too.
Oh end, end, end, why won't this stupid thing end?
I try to be calm, try to think of our wonderful weekend in Stroud with
velvet_the_cat and Dan sans lj, I run around this house like a whippet on a wheel. But all I can think is of being known, this house not being safe, and of the man being beaten in prison. Kicked. Holy Christ, this life! Do I go out, do I stay in, do I tell the police? My visitor may have been innocent, just giving me a well-meaning message from the criminal fraternity. He might have been Terrence's best mate. He might have been casing the house. He might be mad or drunk or on something. I don't know.I sweet-talked the man away. Now I sit here, too confused to cry.
Edited to add So after talking to Victim Support, I emailed the detective in charge of the case. He says he thinks he knows who it is and will go have a word. This makes me feel bad in case the visitor's intentions were unicorn pure; in my paranoid moments, I am afraid he will hold a grudge and hang around till I go out, then come in and do something horrible.
I want to move away. But where? There is no option right now.
Sick, ever so sick of this.
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no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 06:22 pm (UTC)If you want to hide out at ours I can come & pick you up tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 08:20 pm (UTC)But for the sake of partner and pussycats, I should stay and brace myself, let this grow stale if I can. The police advise me to ring 999 if this visitor returns, and I await word from them as to where to go next. If they advise my removal, I would very much like to take you up on this kind offer, just for a little, until something is worked out.
It will not come to this. I am just freaked. And you are very loving. Thank you xxxx
no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-04 09:20 am (UTC)Don't worry! I didn't get that impression at all.
Hopefully this will all blow over & the man won't bother you again.
Are you coming to Maelstrom? If you do I'll feed you tea & cake & afterhours booze.
(if you need to bug out over the Easter weekend, it may take me a bit longer to come get you, but you can certainly stay. Mum's here with Number One Son. You could feed the ducks.)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-04 12:58 pm (UTC)No maelstrom for me, though it sounds like a wonderful idea.
Nowt from the police today, so all is probably well. But tea, cake and booze sound like a fine plan:-) xxxxx
p.s Plus ducks!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 08:22 pm (UTC)Honestly, I feel like I'm stuck half way between here and wonderland.
Thank you for understanding. 'Jangled' is exactly right.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 08:09 pm (UTC)It sounds like the dogs are barking - but the caravan will move on very soon, VERY soon I hope x
no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 08:26 pm (UTC)It is not helped by the fact that there is a bail house some streets away...and the real culprit's home address is less than a three minute walk from my front door!
I lament not being strong enough to love this place anymore. One day, this caravan will really move on, and I will never look back. But for now, this journal is my refuge, and I am very glad you are part of it. Thank you xxx
no subject
Date: 2012-04-04 07:49 am (UTC)If you need a place to be, we can come and get you. *hug*
no subject
Date: 2012-04-04 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-05 01:07 pm (UTC)xxx
no subject
Date: 2012-04-05 01:29 pm (UTC)It would be so much fun to come and spend time with you again:-) Perhaps when
And I loved this place once, heck, I wanted to buy the house! I am annoyed at my wibbling. I don't want to feel chased out by the well-meaning efforts of Lewisham's criminal community to reassure me!
Crazy. Still, at least it is becoming funny!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-06 04:34 pm (UTC)xx
no subject
Date: 2012-04-05 03:44 pm (UTC)For what little it's worth, I'm inclined to agree with [Unknown site tag] that it's a really crap attempt at trying to reassure you in some way. The fact that they've done the opposite is quite another matter of course.
In the short term is there anything simple you can do to try to improve the security of the house to help you feel a bit safer? Add some extra bolts for the back door and windows and get better locks that your brother can't just leave unlocked when he goes out?
*hugs*
Of course, you have another bolt hole here any time you need. :o)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-05 05:25 pm (UTC)It is unbelievable. I seem to have wandered into a Monty Python sketch!
TBH, the house is a security nightmare.
There's a window that the handle froze off years back, and it can't be properly closed. This only leads into the conservatory (more a lean-to really) and from there is a double locked door into the kitchen. That door is quite firm in itself, though it might not deter a petty thief, who could just watch, wait until I was out in the garden, sneak in through the back while I was meandering down the bottom of the garden, grab my handbag and let themselves out the front.
The front, well I don't know, I think the problem is that the locks work but he forgets to use them. He says he doesn't want to spend more on security because he has a horror of fire sweeping through the house. Personally, I think he doesn't want to spend the money!
*Big hugs* Thank you for the offer and for the beautiful weekend. I try to remember it when my calm sputters. Hope the exhibition is going well!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-10 01:50 pm (UTC)Even fake cameras tend to make bad guys think more than twice about even approaching a place since they know that anything they do, even lurking in a bush looking at the doors, will be recorded and lead to them being caught.
Also (hugs)