Not great

Mar. 30th, 2016 05:14 pm
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[personal profile] smokingboot
On my way around Lewisham, bumped into a man. We recognised each other straight away. It's this guy:http://smokingboot.livejournal.com/398745.html

I walked on, feeling that sudden sickness, telling myself not to look back, not to make sure when I was already sure. But of course I did, and he did exactly the same. We both turned around and stared at one another's faces, both surprised/shocked, both knowing exactly what we were doing. Then we both walked our separate ways.

I reached a good vantage point and waited for the bus. He didn't come back, he didn't catch the bus, I was safe. But the day felt strange and suddenly too hot, and I had a minor PTSD issue; this man never did me harm. It's his connection with Terrence Emmett and the memories of that time that make me dizzy. Came home, did some of this insane paperwork. Faltering a little bit.

Because he knows Terrence, they know each other from the nick. He could mention me to him, could say that I am still comparatively local. Or not. But I feel so odd. That sense of vertigo was back with a vengeance but it's only a feeling. I was able to think, able to define. It's cold but I am OK. I remember, but those who know about these things warned me that this would be the way of it.

Turns out I am going to Glastonbury tomorrow. It will be good to swap this strange flat tone for fun and more vibrant absurdity.

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