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smokingbootI kid you not, this is not going to be nice. This post is such a bummer after I've been feeling so creative all week, but I have to get this out of my system or I am going to go absolutely crazy. Honestly.
So I suggest you don't read it. It is directed towards someone sans LJ, so whoever you are, it's not about you. No, not even you. Still, it's very negative. If I was my normal self, I wouldn't read this, never mind write it.
Get. The Fuck. Off me.
Leave me alone. Stop phoning me, stop sighing at me, stop pawing at me with your endless, miserable, pathetic needs. You are getting married! It's your day not mine! I don't need to be there! First the comments and then the little sad email 'hoping for a chat,' and finally you collar me on the phone and inform me you're praying for me to be at your wedding. Oh get off! Stop it! My god, if you just did the whole full on attack we would at least both enjoy it, but no, instead we get this passive aggressive soft semi-whiney shit. And I grit my teeth and talk it through because, because, because..
You are a friend of mine.
I actually like you. No really, a lot. Because if it was anyone else who behaved like this, I would have screamed at them by now and told them to fuck off out of my life and not come back. Or punched them.
'Praying for me to be at the wedding,' man, you can't have any idea how that pisses me off. I have the right to my holiday, you sad pseudo-vampire, you total hapless dependant, I have the right not to be thinking about you. God, the way you clamour for my attention is so desperate and I try not to let it wig me out, but finally at long last we are in the bad place.
Jesus, what is it with you? If you're not asking for a tarot reading about your latest non-event, or asking me what my gut feeling is about every. Single. aspect of your life (only to ignore anything I say if you don't like it)you're hoping and praying and wishing that magically I will come around and fate will deposit me in a shoebox by your door. I know, I know, you're lonely, you've been hurt, you're shy, you don't know how to get it on with people, communication is hard for you, unless it's with me and then by Christ, there is no stopping you.
Look at me, you silly selfish bitch, listen to my voice on the phone. I'm exhausted and stressed, I'm tired and working my arse off. This doesn't make me unhappy. I want to create and I can create too, if you would just stop trying to turn me into something out of Little Fucking Women. I am not your Marmee. And I want my holiday sans guilt trip thank you very much, and the reason I am not going to be at your wedding is because I WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Now shut up and leave me alone.
So I suggest you don't read it. It is directed towards someone sans LJ, so whoever you are, it's not about you. No, not even you. Still, it's very negative. If I was my normal self, I wouldn't read this, never mind write it.
Get. The Fuck. Off me.
Leave me alone. Stop phoning me, stop sighing at me, stop pawing at me with your endless, miserable, pathetic needs. You are getting married! It's your day not mine! I don't need to be there! First the comments and then the little sad email 'hoping for a chat,' and finally you collar me on the phone and inform me you're praying for me to be at your wedding. Oh get off! Stop it! My god, if you just did the whole full on attack we would at least both enjoy it, but no, instead we get this passive aggressive soft semi-whiney shit. And I grit my teeth and talk it through because, because, because..
You are a friend of mine.
I actually like you. No really, a lot. Because if it was anyone else who behaved like this, I would have screamed at them by now and told them to fuck off out of my life and not come back. Or punched them.
'Praying for me to be at the wedding,' man, you can't have any idea how that pisses me off. I have the right to my holiday, you sad pseudo-vampire, you total hapless dependant, I have the right not to be thinking about you. God, the way you clamour for my attention is so desperate and I try not to let it wig me out, but finally at long last we are in the bad place.
Jesus, what is it with you? If you're not asking for a tarot reading about your latest non-event, or asking me what my gut feeling is about every. Single. aspect of your life (only to ignore anything I say if you don't like it)you're hoping and praying and wishing that magically I will come around and fate will deposit me in a shoebox by your door. I know, I know, you're lonely, you've been hurt, you're shy, you don't know how to get it on with people, communication is hard for you, unless it's with me and then by Christ, there is no stopping you.
Look at me, you silly selfish bitch, listen to my voice on the phone. I'm exhausted and stressed, I'm tired and working my arse off. This doesn't make me unhappy. I want to create and I can create too, if you would just stop trying to turn me into something out of Little Fucking Women. I am not your Marmee. And I want my holiday sans guilt trip thank you very much, and the reason I am not going to be at your wedding is because I WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Now shut up and leave me alone.
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