smokingboot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
smokingboot) wrote2004-07-28 09:11 am
smokingboot) wrote2004-07-28 09:11 am
A lesson learnt
I should take notice when I get depressed. Usually it's because of MBS but now and then it's a harbinger of crud times to come. Here comes the cut, accompanied by a whinge.
Yesterday was a rotten day. The deal? A very sick and very difficult family member with whom I am out of options. They phoned up yesterday asking me to come and take their stuff away because they are 'sick of cleaning,' which probably means they are preparing to do a runner. I spend every Christmas with them, and my partner is beginning to complain that we have never spent Christmas together - in fact, that I have never spent Christmas here, in my own home.
Truth to tell, I am sick of spending the holiday sleeping on a tiny couch, and without going into too much detail, the person is unwell enough to make Christmas Eve something between A Beautiful Mind, and The Others. It's freaky, and I am not easily freaked.
So I spoke to another family member to see if they could cut me some slack, maybe we could alternate years, and I could have a break this year. Said family member refused strenuously, a circumstance which frustrates me but I understand - the sick family member is absolutely selfish and unbearable. It's not their fault, but they refuse to get the treatment to alleviate the condition, and it makes them sheer torture to be with. Anybody who fears death should try watching a little undeath for a while. Toughens you up.
So what am I to do? I can see if my aunt will help.
Beyond that, I just don't know.
Still, even writing it down releases it for a while. I feel better just looking at the words.
What else can I write to draw my mind away from this? A most excellent chum gave me a late birthday present, a string of large plastic red rose lights with which I have garnished the bed. I find them delightfully kitch, my lover gazes at them askance. Hmm. I suspect I will have to find another home for them.
Last night, we played Vampire, a surprising and interesting session, with a very intelligent resolution. I love this campaign and am glad to be playing again.
There is something else I can't remember, something my backbrain tells me to focus on, and I just can't quite catch it. Maybe later.
Yesterday was a rotten day. The deal? A very sick and very difficult family member with whom I am out of options. They phoned up yesterday asking me to come and take their stuff away because they are 'sick of cleaning,' which probably means they are preparing to do a runner. I spend every Christmas with them, and my partner is beginning to complain that we have never spent Christmas together - in fact, that I have never spent Christmas here, in my own home.
Truth to tell, I am sick of spending the holiday sleeping on a tiny couch, and without going into too much detail, the person is unwell enough to make Christmas Eve something between A Beautiful Mind, and The Others. It's freaky, and I am not easily freaked.
So I spoke to another family member to see if they could cut me some slack, maybe we could alternate years, and I could have a break this year. Said family member refused strenuously, a circumstance which frustrates me but I understand - the sick family member is absolutely selfish and unbearable. It's not their fault, but they refuse to get the treatment to alleviate the condition, and it makes them sheer torture to be with. Anybody who fears death should try watching a little undeath for a while. Toughens you up.
So what am I to do? I can see if my aunt will help.
Beyond that, I just don't know.
Still, even writing it down releases it for a while. I feel better just looking at the words.
What else can I write to draw my mind away from this? A most excellent chum gave me a late birthday present, a string of large plastic red rose lights with which I have garnished the bed. I find them delightfully kitch, my lover gazes at them askance. Hmm. I suspect I will have to find another home for them.
Last night, we played Vampire, a surprising and interesting session, with a very intelligent resolution. I love this campaign and am glad to be playing again.
There is something else I can't remember, something my backbrain tells me to focus on, and I just can't quite catch it. Maybe later.
no subject
Surely the time has come for you to be selfish for Christmas? Give yourself and Larians the best Christmas present you can...a celebration that is purely for yourselves! I understand the pressures family can exert (although you seem to have more than your share in your difficult family member), but you also need to say enough.
Could it be that when your other family members see that you are serious about not spending Christmas with the difficult one, they might bend slightly? That they are relying upon you accepting their refusal?
Whatever the case, even if this family member spends Christmas Eve and the Day alone, surely you and Larians deserve Christmas together?
Love & xxxx
no subject
Larians and I certainly deserve Crimbo together. But when I think about my relative, deserving seems a dangerous thought thread to pursue. After all, she doesn't deserve what has happened to her.
Thank you for your thoughts. I will ponder on them longer...
no subject
Hugs
no subject
no subject
Hugs and sympathy.
no subject
Yes it is impossible.
She wouldn't notice resentment, as I automatically hide it (the lifelong source of my roleplaying talent, don't you know!) If I showed it, she would only attribute my feelings to other causes or, if I was really unlucky, resent my partner for taking me away. As for seeing her before or after Christmas, the distance is a bit of a devil, but I may well talk to Larians about that option.
Thanks for being so constructive.
*Hugs right back*
no subject
Here's what you do.
Phone houseclearance company. Get them to take all the stuff away. Help relative pack. Do not ask for forwarding address.
With any luck, you'll never have to spend Christmas with them again.
Perfect!