A lesson learnt
Jul. 28th, 2004 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootI should take notice when I get depressed. Usually it's because of MBS but now and then it's a harbinger of crud times to come. Here comes the cut, accompanied by a whinge.
Yesterday was a rotten day. The deal? A very sick and very difficult family member with whom I am out of options. They phoned up yesterday asking me to come and take their stuff away because they are 'sick of cleaning,' which probably means they are preparing to do a runner. I spend every Christmas with them, and my partner is beginning to complain that we have never spent Christmas together - in fact, that I have never spent Christmas here, in my own home.
Truth to tell, I am sick of spending the holiday sleeping on a tiny couch, and without going into too much detail, the person is unwell enough to make Christmas Eve something between A Beautiful Mind, and The Others. It's freaky, and I am not easily freaked.
So I spoke to another family member to see if they could cut me some slack, maybe we could alternate years, and I could have a break this year. Said family member refused strenuously, a circumstance which frustrates me but I understand - the sick family member is absolutely selfish and unbearable. It's not their fault, but they refuse to get the treatment to alleviate the condition, and it makes them sheer torture to be with. Anybody who fears death should try watching a little undeath for a while. Toughens you up.
So what am I to do? I can see if my aunt will help.
Beyond that, I just don't know.
Still, even writing it down releases it for a while. I feel better just looking at the words.
What else can I write to draw my mind away from this? A most excellent chum gave me a late birthday present, a string of large plastic red rose lights with which I have garnished the bed. I find them delightfully kitch, my lover gazes at them askance. Hmm. I suspect I will have to find another home for them.
Last night, we played Vampire, a surprising and interesting session, with a very intelligent resolution. I love this campaign and am glad to be playing again.
There is something else I can't remember, something my backbrain tells me to focus on, and I just can't quite catch it. Maybe later.
Yesterday was a rotten day. The deal? A very sick and very difficult family member with whom I am out of options. They phoned up yesterday asking me to come and take their stuff away because they are 'sick of cleaning,' which probably means they are preparing to do a runner. I spend every Christmas with them, and my partner is beginning to complain that we have never spent Christmas together - in fact, that I have never spent Christmas here, in my own home.
Truth to tell, I am sick of spending the holiday sleeping on a tiny couch, and without going into too much detail, the person is unwell enough to make Christmas Eve something between A Beautiful Mind, and The Others. It's freaky, and I am not easily freaked.
So I spoke to another family member to see if they could cut me some slack, maybe we could alternate years, and I could have a break this year. Said family member refused strenuously, a circumstance which frustrates me but I understand - the sick family member is absolutely selfish and unbearable. It's not their fault, but they refuse to get the treatment to alleviate the condition, and it makes them sheer torture to be with. Anybody who fears death should try watching a little undeath for a while. Toughens you up.
So what am I to do? I can see if my aunt will help.
Beyond that, I just don't know.
Still, even writing it down releases it for a while. I feel better just looking at the words.
What else can I write to draw my mind away from this? A most excellent chum gave me a late birthday present, a string of large plastic red rose lights with which I have garnished the bed. I find them delightfully kitch, my lover gazes at them askance. Hmm. I suspect I will have to find another home for them.
Last night, we played Vampire, a surprising and interesting session, with a very intelligent resolution. I love this campaign and am glad to be playing again.
There is something else I can't remember, something my backbrain tells me to focus on, and I just can't quite catch it. Maybe later.
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-28 02:23 am (UTC)Hugs and sympathy.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-28 06:50 am (UTC)Yes it is impossible.
She wouldn't notice resentment, as I automatically hide it (the lifelong source of my roleplaying talent, don't you know!) If I showed it, she would only attribute my feelings to other causes or, if I was really unlucky, resent my partner for taking me away. As for seeing her before or after Christmas, the distance is a bit of a devil, but I may well talk to Larians about that option.
Thanks for being so constructive.
*Hugs right back*