The Debbie Collector

[smokingboot]

It's been an odd time; time spent with friends at the weekend, time spent in the West End, time spent with family, time spend arguing passionately but politely about conservation, time spent being annoyed at a cleaning company who botched every aspect of our agreement, time organising what to do about my mother for Xmas and her birthday...The only thing I haven't had time for is proper work. Got to amend that.

I was perturbed by an exchange on twitter. Some guy followed me, no worries, I thought, because I could see other people he was following, known to me from the LARP scene. Here is our 'conversation.'

Hutchison
Hi how are you doing?
Sep 5

Hutchison
Hi friend
Sep 9

[Me]
Hi there. Do we know each other?


Hutchison
No but soon we gonna be best of friensds

[Cue Block]

I mentioned this to chums on FB. One informed me that not only did the above charming gentleman follow several of my friends via Twitter, he also followed several women all with both my first name and maiden surname. It rang a bell...

I remembered him from a while ago, when I think he tried to make contact under another name; at that time I checked him out and noticed the Debbies he was following. I don't recall noticing if they all shared my surname, but R confirmed I'd mentioned the weirdo to him months back.

Looking again, I saw that yes, far down his list he follows a group of women all with my first and surname, and yes, he follows some of my closest friends and one pretty vicious enemy. But said enemy is a)dormant and b)not that kind of jerk.

Any way, in case I disappear suddenly, the DC is one lead. Another could be Terence Henry Emmett who gets out of jail in December. Another could be the mad money crazed psychic who blames me for her weight problems, another could be...

Oh, let's face it, if I disappear, it's probably the aliens back to remove my family from the planet before something else explodes.

Comments

[mallorys_camera]

I am sorry this is happening to you. Combined with other things that have happened to you, it's got to be terrifying.

I hesitate to write this because I don't want you to think I'm an insensitive oaf, but The Debbie Collector could also be tweaked into a lighthearted RomCom plot. Obviously, that is not what's happening in Real Life. But if you're looking for a RomCom plot...

[smokingboot]

Not at all insensitive, it is funny... I was describing it to a friend, and called him, 'The Debbie Man,' when it occurred to me that 'The Debbie Collector,' was more appropriate...plus it has that touch of black comedy to it.

I would like to base something around it, but my problems are these: My agent is brilliant, foremost in scifi and fantasy. That's where I need to put more effort professionally for the next couple of years.

If I create this, not only do I take time away from the above to do it, I have no way to pitch the finished result to the right people, and even if they liked it, it would be a noir shaded romcom style thing, in a time of easy offence. I might be able to laugh, others might not, I might even get lambasted because I 'should know better.'

So right now, while it's an idea worth keeping, it may have to wait...

[mallorys_camera]

Oh, there's a definite fantasy spin you could put on it.

The young man, a wistful poetic type, has been told by the Last Soothsayer in England—comedy scene where wistful poet tracks ancient hermit in the Fens—that his True Love's name is Debbie...

Hijinx ensue.

Resolution, of course, is that his sensible housemate who goes by the name of Arden or some such was actually christened Deborah.

[smokingboot]

It works!