smokingboot

Hmm, maybe more than a little. This feels clinical; while I have the usual worries, there's nothing triggering it. I am hungry a lot of the time, my mood is low, and while it may be caused in part by Covid recovery time dragging on, the exhaustion is becoming a chicken and egg situation. Yes, the tiredness may trigger the depression but tiredness is also a symptom of depression. I don't know. All I know is that I am here, and need to take steps to sort it out. I'll avoid medication if possible. It helps my base mood but leaves me feeling sleepy and fat, which then depresses me further.

I feel particularly crap about this because I have had a lovely Summer, and there's more to come. I have no right to feel this way. Maybe I just need more sleep and vegetables.

Then there's the cleaner. She does her work, no problem, but she is a bit irregular. The week before last, she didn't come because of family issues - not that she told me at the time. Three days later she contacted with an explanation. We agreed that she owed me a 3-4 hour block of work, but she asked that that free block be this week, so OK I paid for last week. This week, she is not turning up again, apparently due to family stuff. I am half expecting her to now disappear without working the hours she's been paid for. Huh. We will see.