Rabbit Hole Day
Jan. 27th, 2005 11:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootTranslated from today's San Juan Times, Puerto Rico:
Antonio Soldat, current mayor of San Juan, is a chupacabra, it was revealed today.
In a shock exclusive with the San Juan Times, the well known former police chief confessed all, while removing his astonishing disguise. 'For years I have been living a lie,' he said, peeling back the bald homely head familiar to hundreds of voters and revealing strange inhuman features; red eyes, spikey brows, green skin and serrated teeth. Discarding the rest of his clothing, it transpired that the mayor's body is mottled green all over with long claws, kangaroo legs and a soft filmy substance joining his elbows to his rib cage in a manner similar to that found in flying squirrels; 'You can touch it if you like; it feels quite nice,' he said, smiling coyly.
Coy or not, the mayor's deception has thrown the legality of his tenure into question. 'When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states,' howled an indignant passer-by. Antonio, however, decried this attitude to the situation. 'Like most of my people, I have lived this deception because we fear persecution. We do not look like you. We do not think like you. But where we have been accepted, we are a positive addition to the community.'
Asked whereabouts his people had found such acceptance, Antonio claimed that there were flourishing chupacabra communities to be found in Puerto Rico, Kuwait, India, France and Great Britain, including one in Whitehall, London, where 'special tailoring services,' are apparently the best across the globe.
'We wish to open negotiations with the major governments of the earth. We come in peace, with new ideas and new technology to share,' was Antonio Soldat's message to the people of earth.
Response from those governments has been slow. So far, only the White House has replied. 'We are not interested in dealing with these beings,' a spokesperson informed us, 'They have caused huge amounts of damage to property and livestock, as well as being plain ugly little critters. There is no evidence they have any knowledge to offer us except how to suck goats, and we know that already.'
A very happy birthday to you, Mr Carroll. Thanks for all the inspiration.
Antonio Soldat, current mayor of San Juan, is a chupacabra, it was revealed today.
In a shock exclusive with the San Juan Times, the well known former police chief confessed all, while removing his astonishing disguise. 'For years I have been living a lie,' he said, peeling back the bald homely head familiar to hundreds of voters and revealing strange inhuman features; red eyes, spikey brows, green skin and serrated teeth. Discarding the rest of his clothing, it transpired that the mayor's body is mottled green all over with long claws, kangaroo legs and a soft filmy substance joining his elbows to his rib cage in a manner similar to that found in flying squirrels; 'You can touch it if you like; it feels quite nice,' he said, smiling coyly.
Coy or not, the mayor's deception has thrown the legality of his tenure into question. 'When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states,' howled an indignant passer-by. Antonio, however, decried this attitude to the situation. 'Like most of my people, I have lived this deception because we fear persecution. We do not look like you. We do not think like you. But where we have been accepted, we are a positive addition to the community.'
Asked whereabouts his people had found such acceptance, Antonio claimed that there were flourishing chupacabra communities to be found in Puerto Rico, Kuwait, India, France and Great Britain, including one in Whitehall, London, where 'special tailoring services,' are apparently the best across the globe.
'We wish to open negotiations with the major governments of the earth. We come in peace, with new ideas and new technology to share,' was Antonio Soldat's message to the people of earth.
Response from those governments has been slow. So far, only the White House has replied. 'We are not interested in dealing with these beings,' a spokesperson informed us, 'They have caused huge amounts of damage to property and livestock, as well as being plain ugly little critters. There is no evidence they have any knowledge to offer us except how to suck goats, and we know that already.'
A very happy birthday to you, Mr Carroll. Thanks for all the inspiration.
| January 27, 2005 is LiveJournal Rabbit-Hole Day "Let's have a day where nobody's life makes sense anymore, where any random LJ you click on will bring you some strange new tale. Let's all fall down the Rabbit Hole for 24 hours and see what's there. It will be beautiful." More information |
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When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states
Date: 2005-01-27 12:13 pm (UTC)Re: When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states
Date: 2005-01-27 12:29 pm (UTC)Re: When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states
Date: 2005-01-27 12:53 pm (UTC)Re: When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states
Date: 2005-01-27 12:55 pm (UTC)Re: When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states
Date: 2005-01-27 01:13 pm (UTC)Re: When I want my life to be run by a lying monster, I'll move to the states
Date: 2005-01-28 09:34 am (UTC)