The Hindsight of Paradise
Apr. 13th, 2024 08:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootWe were at a homestay at Ben Tre in the Mekong Delta.
This is where we celebrated R's 50th, with a cake and rice wine, wonderful food and fun company. Alongside the family, we met a pack of teeny well-kept and very happy little dogs, including a puppy. One of our group fell in love with him, and faced added pressure from his family to bring him home 'and we will love you forever.' But puppy was content with his family so our friend made up for future parting by fussing him solid for 48 hours.
The homestay was a farm surrounded by other farms. Everything seems to grow here, mangos, guavas, jackfruit, longans and of course coconuts. For me the most blissful part was getting up early in the morning (alas, not early enough to see the fishermen draw in their nets) and listen to the palms rustling in the wind. The gent was sat on the jetty with puppy in arms, watching his wife swim along the river. The water was too brown and silty to encourage me, but she looked so happy! We all were. Well, almost all...
There's always one. On our tour it turned out not to be the booming voiced lady, whose heart was warm and generous for all her lack of tact. Instead it was a woman described as 'awkward' by our sunniest member. I had noticed all but one of us standing back from her in that quiet way that is very loud when you realise. At Thien-Mu pagoda, when our guide spoke about the tragic death of Thích Quảng Đức (https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/thien-mu-pagoda) her response was to say 'that was an awful lot of words to tell that story,' and wander off in disgust. She dismissed the presidential palace in Saigon as not being much of a palace, not being what she would call a palace at all. At Yaly in Hoi An she quizzed the assistants about every aspect of the material available, with questions including whether or not she could purchase fabric from the place rather than have something made there. When she got an affirmative reply, her dismayed expression provoked barely suppressed smiles in the group; we knew she had no intention of buying so much as a button.
Her behaviour reached an odd peak in Ben Tre; when we visited neighbouring farms, we went to one where the farmer is trying a new crop of a plant with a name I don't know in English. This stuff makes green swiftset jellies and it can also make great cosmetic face masks, so there you go, new harvest. They made us tea and jelly. I ate one, and when offered another accepted it to this lady's derision. She had been pulling faces at the jellies already and this was too much for her.
'You really like it do you?' She jeered, 'look, they're offering you more 'purest green'! Eat it all up! Oh my goodness,she is, she really is [laughter]oh my goodness my behaviour! If my children acted like this I would tell them off, but I can't help it...'[hysterical laughter, etc]
I was astonished by the evident mockery in her tone towards people whose hospitality she was enjoying. It was loud enough to be noticed, heads were turning, so I quickly moved the conversation to more genial comedy and made my silent vow never to sit near her again. Though I have seen occasional bad behaviour from Blighty tourists, this is the first time in all my years* I felt personally embarrassed by it. Now on the Whatsapp group she describes that bit of the holiday as her favourite part. Sometimes all Paradise needs is hindsight.
* I can use that phrase now!
This is where we celebrated R's 50th, with a cake and rice wine, wonderful food and fun company. Alongside the family, we met a pack of teeny well-kept and very happy little dogs, including a puppy. One of our group fell in love with him, and faced added pressure from his family to bring him home 'and we will love you forever.' But puppy was content with his family so our friend made up for future parting by fussing him solid for 48 hours.
The homestay was a farm surrounded by other farms. Everything seems to grow here, mangos, guavas, jackfruit, longans and of course coconuts. For me the most blissful part was getting up early in the morning (alas, not early enough to see the fishermen draw in their nets) and listen to the palms rustling in the wind. The gent was sat on the jetty with puppy in arms, watching his wife swim along the river. The water was too brown and silty to encourage me, but she looked so happy! We all were. Well, almost all...
There's always one. On our tour it turned out not to be the booming voiced lady, whose heart was warm and generous for all her lack of tact. Instead it was a woman described as 'awkward' by our sunniest member. I had noticed all but one of us standing back from her in that quiet way that is very loud when you realise. At Thien-Mu pagoda, when our guide spoke about the tragic death of Thích Quảng Đức (https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/thien-mu-pagoda) her response was to say 'that was an awful lot of words to tell that story,' and wander off in disgust. She dismissed the presidential palace in Saigon as not being much of a palace, not being what she would call a palace at all. At Yaly in Hoi An she quizzed the assistants about every aspect of the material available, with questions including whether or not she could purchase fabric from the place rather than have something made there. When she got an affirmative reply, her dismayed expression provoked barely suppressed smiles in the group; we knew she had no intention of buying so much as a button.
Her behaviour reached an odd peak in Ben Tre; when we visited neighbouring farms, we went to one where the farmer is trying a new crop of a plant with a name I don't know in English. This stuff makes green swiftset jellies and it can also make great cosmetic face masks, so there you go, new harvest. They made us tea and jelly. I ate one, and when offered another accepted it to this lady's derision. She had been pulling faces at the jellies already and this was too much for her.
'You really like it do you?' She jeered, 'look, they're offering you more 'purest green'! Eat it all up! Oh my goodness,she is, she really is [laughter]oh my goodness my behaviour! If my children acted like this I would tell them off, but I can't help it...'[hysterical laughter, etc]
I was astonished by the evident mockery in her tone towards people whose hospitality she was enjoying. It was loud enough to be noticed, heads were turning, so I quickly moved the conversation to more genial comedy and made my silent vow never to sit near her again. Though I have seen occasional bad behaviour from Blighty tourists, this is the first time in all my years* I felt personally embarrassed by it. Now on the Whatsapp group she describes that bit of the holiday as her favourite part. Sometimes all Paradise needs is hindsight.
* I can use that phrase now!
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 11:07 am (UTC)Your description makes it sound as though the obnoxious lady was feeling overwhelmed by the difference of it all from her realm of experience. Possibly in her—ha, ha, ha! 😀—real life, she uses hyperbolic, amused cynicism as a type of crutch. But once she had time to process the experience, she discovered that she had liked it.
But, of course, I wasn't there. So, who knows? 😀
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 11:24 am (UTC)Re the lady, despite you not being there, your take on it sounds astute and probable. When I asked her later if she had enjoyed her trip she said that there were some places in which she left a little part of her heart but Vietnam was not one of them; apparently she doesn't like crowded cities - in which case I seriously cannot understand why she chose this particular tour or country come to that.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 06:28 pm (UTC)... I do wonder what prompts it. Like she even said "If my children acted like this..." so it's not as if she's not aware. So what's her problem?
Your photos are lovely, and I can just imagine the sound of the wind in the palms.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-14 08:10 am (UTC)I can just imagine the sound of the wind in the palms.
It's one of my favourite sounds, and always draws me closer.
Hearing about your cousin, I feel for you! Why are these people so often beyond embarrassment?
Re the lady, the vibe she gives off is classic Mean Girl. It's very strange to see someone try this once they've left school.