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smokingbootWell, my 62nd year would be unforgettable, even if I tried.
But I won't try.
My year has been almost entirely dominated by cancer. And what a boring miserable little tyrant it is! I have already spoken about how I can't frame this as some warrior struggle. I am not some fierce-faced amazon, no example of true grit. That's not my narrative. It has been a time of attrition, of being tired and weak then getting frustrated with being tired and weak. It has been scientifically fascinating and emotionally ruinous. More than anything Poor Donkey Body has shown me that I must respect her.
She showed me her might throughout the wonderful adventures of Vietnam and Cambodia. Weak and ill, she climbed the blistering hot steps of Ta Keo to the top of the supposedly cursed temple.
She scrambled swiftly through the infamous Cu Chi tunnels.
When wiser folk demurred, she did these things simply because she is being driven by an idiot. Poor Donkey Body is resilient and extremely patient, she does not give up easily. But I mustn't diss her out of pride. I don't have to push her hard out of some weird tuffenuff BS. I have to be sensible for her, knowing she'll never fail me 'til the day she must. Happens to us all, but I don't need to chase it.
Vietnam and Cambodia opened my eyes and ravished my heart. How beautiful, how painful, how full of life and laughter. What a gift to see these things! How extraordinary a privilege is this existence!
And underlying it all, keeping me going, the support of my dear husband, my family and friends. You are part of that if you are reading this. So thank you for everything.
July 11th, another trek around Sol completed, a new one beginning. Here we go again. Salut!
But I won't try.
My year has been almost entirely dominated by cancer. And what a boring miserable little tyrant it is! I have already spoken about how I can't frame this as some warrior struggle. I am not some fierce-faced amazon, no example of true grit. That's not my narrative. It has been a time of attrition, of being tired and weak then getting frustrated with being tired and weak. It has been scientifically fascinating and emotionally ruinous. More than anything Poor Donkey Body has shown me that I must respect her.
She showed me her might throughout the wonderful adventures of Vietnam and Cambodia. Weak and ill, she climbed the blistering hot steps of Ta Keo to the top of the supposedly cursed temple.
She scrambled swiftly through the infamous Cu Chi tunnels.
When wiser folk demurred, she did these things simply because she is being driven by an idiot. Poor Donkey Body is resilient and extremely patient, she does not give up easily. But I mustn't diss her out of pride. I don't have to push her hard out of some weird tuffenuff BS. I have to be sensible for her, knowing she'll never fail me 'til the day she must. Happens to us all, but I don't need to chase it.
Vietnam and Cambodia opened my eyes and ravished my heart. How beautiful, how painful, how full of life and laughter. What a gift to see these things! How extraordinary a privilege is this existence!
And underlying it all, keeping me going, the support of my dear husband, my family and friends. You are part of that if you are reading this. So thank you for everything.
July 11th, another trek around Sol completed, a new one beginning. Here we go again. Salut!
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Date: 2024-07-11 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2024-07-12 03:55 pm (UTC)I am glad you ended up journeying to southeast Asia. One reason I brought that suggestion up to you wayyyyyy back (which you may or may not remember) is that I actually dreamed of you & R in Vietnam.
I hope to travel there myself. Maybe next year.
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Date: 2024-07-16 07:29 am (UTC)I had this dream https://smokingboot.dreamwidth.org/725615.html
The tube station I describe there doesn't exist in or near London as far as I know, but I remembered it in a flash when we got off at Hue train station. Dream station and Hue station are not exactly identical but very similar indeed.
The other moment was in the Cu Chi tunnels, where I felt confident and strong, as though I was extremely at ease with where I was. Having said that, I often get that in cavernous places. Maybe I retain some memories of mining ancestors, or perhaps it's some Gollum gene!
Your suggestion was, if I recall rightly, a foody tour? That would be incredible! But it was a good call to do the highlights and history tour as an intro.
I want to return to Vietnam.