Small aggravation
Oct. 7th, 2024 10:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
smokingbootJust checked my next appointment. It's a difficult date as R is meant to be in England.
I could ask him to stay of course but he is already taking a lot of time out to look after me. He's been grand and his work's been very understanding, but I wouldn't want him to have to lean on this.
Transport's a bit of an issue because I can't drive, but that can be sorted. It's the usefulness of someone sitting with me to hear all the details. If they tell me I need chemo, it is very likely that my head will be in a bit of a whirl and I may miss important information. That's where R's clarity comes in very useful.
We do have lovely friends whom we could ask to take me there and sit with me. But I feel strange about it. I don't like asking, don't want anyone to see me dizzy or worried, don't want them to see me maybe bursting into tears or unable to keep details in my head. Then don't do any of those things comes the answer. Don't make a thing of it, you know you don't need to. You know you can just do this. It's actually easy. Just pay attention.
Yes, but I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I can be in control of how I seem, but that will take a lot of my focus when really I should be listening to the options in front of me.
So go alone, comes the answer. Go alone, and just force yourself, you can do this too. None of this is hard per se. It's more effort but not a lot more.
Now my issues are persuading my husband that the above is not code for please stay with me when I genuinely mean let's figure out the logistics.
I don't need to think about this for at least a week. So *pff!* for now it vanishes.
I could ask him to stay of course but he is already taking a lot of time out to look after me. He's been grand and his work's been very understanding, but I wouldn't want him to have to lean on this.
Transport's a bit of an issue because I can't drive, but that can be sorted. It's the usefulness of someone sitting with me to hear all the details. If they tell me I need chemo, it is very likely that my head will be in a bit of a whirl and I may miss important information. That's where R's clarity comes in very useful.
We do have lovely friends whom we could ask to take me there and sit with me. But I feel strange about it. I don't like asking, don't want anyone to see me dizzy or worried, don't want them to see me maybe bursting into tears or unable to keep details in my head. Then don't do any of those things comes the answer. Don't make a thing of it, you know you don't need to. You know you can just do this. It's actually easy. Just pay attention.
Yes, but I can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I can be in control of how I seem, but that will take a lot of my focus when really I should be listening to the options in front of me.
So go alone, comes the answer. Go alone, and just force yourself, you can do this too. None of this is hard per se. It's more effort but not a lot more.
Now my issues are persuading my husband that the above is not code for please stay with me when I genuinely mean let's figure out the logistics.
I don't need to think about this for at least a week. So *pff!* for now it vanishes.
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no subject
Date: 2024-10-07 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-13 07:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-10-07 01:59 pm (UTC)The clinic may offer a medical social worker who could sit in as your advocate and take the notes you need?
no subject
Date: 2024-10-13 07:25 am (UTC)He's changed his travel arrangements. I feel grateful and a bit annoyed with myself. I shouldn't need this at all, but it comforts me.